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Oct 4

Sexual Health Awareness Week at UC Berkeley

Posted on Saturday, October 4, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoSexual Health Awareness Week (SHAW) events went well! The Sexual Health Education Program (SHEP) SEXPERTS and their DeCal students at UC Berkeley saturated the campus with safer sex supplies distributing approximately 5000 traditional and insertive condoms to fellow bears during SHAW main event and through random acts of sexiness all week. However, the highlight of the week had to be the various sex educator panels including peer educators, campus and local community educators, and professional Sexologists and educators.

student panelSHAW began with an awesome and intriguing panel of sexual health peer educators. Many of the students on the panel are in SHEP with one FemSex facilitator. Though the panel was for the students, and at the end of a long day, I was overwhelmed with pride in a job well done as many of the students in SHEP expressed that being in the program has been one of the most rewarding and educational experiences they’ve had at UC Berkeley. Many of the panelists shared that in their quest to educate others on sexual health and related topics they learned a lot about themselves as well.  The only male student on the panel cheerfully admitted that being accepted into SHEP was more exciting than receiving his acceptance to UC Berkeley. All of this was music to my ears as the Program Coordinator and Sexual Health Educator because I know that each of these young people will continue to educate friends, classmates and many more helping to slowly but surely effect change to create a more sex positive campus climate and culture, here and beyond.

The following evening, we held a sex and disability panel featuring the group Are Cripples Screwed? consisted of UC Berkeley students, alum, and community members lead by SEXPERT Olivia.  This self-contained panel is always both educational and entertaining. There are often many negative stereotypes of disabled persons and sex, as if disabled people don’t have sexual feelings, desires, and experiences. One of the best things about this panel is that the panelists openly and honestly discuss sex and disability in such a way that definitely clarifies that yes, disabled person’s can and do have sexual feelings and desires. Furthermore, disabled persons often figure out a way to experience sexual pleasure as well.

Professional sex educator panelOn Wednesday evening we held a panel of professional sexual health educators and Sexologists for aspiring sex educators.  Like the peer based sex educator panel, clear themes quickly emerged. The first was many of us identified as that “weird” child/young adult who was naturally intrigued with sex and advancing the discourse in an inclusive and accurate way. A second shared theme was having an entrepreneurial spirit as the field of comprehensive sex education is somewhat new. Given that sex, sexuality, and sexual health encompass many areas of our lives and health, it makes perfect sense to study and approach sex from a multi or interdisciplinary perspective. However, the interdisciplinary approach is new for many employers and they are just barely beginning to see and understand its benefits. Professional sex educator panelistsBecause of this sometimes we, as sex educators, have to help potential employers see our worth and you may have to be creative with this. To this end, one of the best pieces of advice was in response to a student question about interest in other areas and not knowing what to do or where to start with a career in sexual health education. I’m not sure who, but I think it was Carol who shared there is no reason to give up your other interests as it is entirely possible to combine them and be the best sexual health person in that particular area. In other words find the thing you are most passionate about – your niche, if you will – and be the sex expert in it. For example, if you have an interest in both chemistry and sex, major in chemistry minor in sex or vice versa, then carve a niche for yourself as a the leading authority in the chemistry of sex.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this recount of SHAW panels. A super duper huge thank you to the Student Sexual Health Educator panelists: Olivia, Jessica, Angela, Daysha, Jasmine, and Mike; Are Cripples Screwed? panelists; as well as professional Sexual Health Educators: Nicole from Huckleberry in Marin County, Alicia Harris from UC Berkeley, University Health Services, and Sexologist Dr. Carol Queen – one of the most well-known professionals in the field of sex education here in the Bay Area. While SHAW was fantastic, sexual health and education is such an important aspect of health that it certainly deserves daily awareness and regular maintenance. As such, I’ll be writing about it all month! Until next time…

 

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Sep 20

Yes! Affirmative Consent

Posted on Saturday, September 20, 2014 in Guest blogger, Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley

Growing up in a religious Catholic family, there weren’t a lot of conversations about consent and sexual activity. In fact, the only conversation about sex at all was a one-note repeat: DON’T. When I hit puberty, my mom stuck a sticker on the bathroom mirror: “8 Ways to Say No to Sex”. The list included such gems as “just walk away” (whaaa?) and “change the subject”; actions that would guarantee no second date, since your companion would clearly think you were nuts. (I spent a lot of time in high school hoping none of my visiting friends would need to use our bathroom.)

The message was clear at my Catholic school as well: nice girls don’t. There was no space for good, sexy feelings; no acknowledgement of your agency to explore your own body; and always the sense that it was up to the girls in the room to, as we were once memorably told, “keep our knees together.” All conversations about consent between us and The Boys were to end one way: with a firm NO. (In this universe, of course, same-sex sex wasn’t even acknowledged.)

One-enthusiastic-yes sg blogThis brings me, in a roundabout way, to the whole idea of enthusiastic consent, and why I wish it had been there in that impoverished, crappy little Catholic school when I was learning about the wide world of adult sexual life. Enthusiastic consent is the concept that you do not move ahead with initiating sexual activity while waiting for a potential sexual partner to say “no” — rather, you pause, seek an enthusiastic “yes!” and respect that anything less means the activity in question is off the table.

Would this idea have actually made a difference to me, growing up in my little hometown? My friend, it would have made ALL the difference. It starts with the revolutionary thought that sexual activity is something to actually be ENJOYED, rather than endured (question to the nuns: if you keep telling girls that sex is something they endure, how can they even tell if they are consenting or not?). Enthusiastic consent includes the notion that sex is something created in the moment between happily consenting adults. It’s not an atomic bomb dropped onto your ever-vulnerable female “reputation”, nor is it a dreaded but necessary task for producing the next generation of miserable, guilt-riddled adults. It’s something you create right then, between you. Which is another reason it would have rocked my teenage world: the idea that sex isn’t something that girls give, and boys take, but rather an activity between equals, brought into being at that moment by each of your desires, needs, likes and dislikes. It’s not a one-time exchange of goods: you don’t hand sex over to the other person. You make it together.

My dear, I am here to tell you that this idea has magic in it. It has the potential to revolutionize how many, many people look at sex, and look at potential sexual partners. The world needs this. Won’t you do your part to bring sex out of the shadows and into the sunshine? I hope for your enthusiastic “Yes!”

Sarah Gamble

Jul 26

National Orgasm Day is Cumming!

Posted on Saturday, July 26, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logo“Oh, Oh, OOH, YES!!!!” It’s almost National Orgasm Day! The exact date is a bit elusive with many sites reporting different dates. However, I have been able to discern that it will be sometime at the end of July; possibly on the 30th or 31st. So, let’s just call it National Orgasm Week! I know I’d rather celebrate orgasms for a full week vs one day.

National Orgasm Day – whenever it is – is a great day to pleasure yourself and/or your partner(s) over and over again. If one day/week is not enough not to worry  as there are multiple orgasm awareness days throughout the year including female orgasm day, World Orgasm Day, and International Orgasm Day. But really who needs an awareness day to celebrate orgasms!?! I certainly don’t.

Orgasms are one of my favorite topics to present. I tend to get excited just talking about orgasms and how wonderful they can be.  Just kidding – or am I? I’ve written about orgasms a couple of times this past year or so.  During finals season I wrote about 5 health benefits of sex and orgasm in “Stop Stressing with More Safer Sexing.” For those who are not quite sure if they have ever experienced an orgasm I wrote “The Elusive O.” Additionally, the latter blog article describes various types of orgasms as well as provides tips on how to have one.

National-Orgasm-DayGoodness, whatever shall I share today in light of National Orgasm Week? I thought it’d be fun to look at some world records involving orgasms. Unfortunately, the Guinness Book of World Records does not collect information on orgasms. As such, I had to be a bit more creative and scoured eBaum’s world, Masturbate-a-thon records and more to find some interesting and fun facts about orgasm related records.  Here’s what I found with regard to interesting orgasm related records according to eBaum’s world:

  • The most ejaculatory orgasms ever recorded in 1 hour for a man is 16.
  • The farthest a woman has been recorded to ejaculate is about 9’29” (3 m). – Are you jealous women? I am a little bit.
  • The greatest distance attained for a jet of semen that has ever been recorded is 18’9″ (5.71 m) which was achieved with a “substantial” amount of seminal fluid by Horst Schultz.
  • The average speed of a man’s ejaculation is 28 miles (45.05 km) per hour. The average speed of a city bus is 25 miles (40.22 km) per hour.  – Okay, I knew about the speed of ejaculation. However, I explain it a little different. I usually tell people that if a guy were to ejaculate and I started to run in the same direction the ejaculate would hit the target destination well before I would. That always gets a laugh from people. Yet also puts into perspective why it is super important to leave room at the tip of traditional condoms.
  • Having swallowed the most amount of semen ever officially recorded Michelle Monaghan had 1.7 pints (0.96 liter) of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
  • Women hold the record for having the most orgasms. The biggest amount of orgasms enjoyed by a woman in 1 hour ever recorded is a pussy shattering 134! However, a more recent report shows this record was shattered by a woman participating in the masturbate-a-thon in Denmark in 2009 with an awe-inspiring 222 orgasms. This was reported to have happened in 1 sitting – I wonder how long that sitting was!?!

That’s going to do it for today. I’m off to try to set my own orgasm record. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Jul 19

Communicating During Conflict: Motives and Making Up

Posted on Saturday, July 19, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoI hope you’ve all had an excellent week practicing self-care and communicating your wants and desires. Though, I like to keep things super positive, I understand that sometimes it is necessary to give feedback that may be difficult to say or hear. As such, today’s topic will build on communication in the form of delivering criticism as a much-needed tool for self-care. I’m going to give you tips on delivering and receiving feedback, as well as negotiating differences because if you’re honest conflict and negotiation are bound to happen.

When it comes to delivering criticism it is a good first step to evaluate your motives. Why are you sharing this particular feedback with your partner? If you are doing so because your partner hurt your feelings and you want to make them feel just as bad, you should seriously consider waiting to express yourself until you have had a moment to cool down. If your motive is because you think that providing feedback may improve the situation, sexual experience and/or relationship, then by all means share your feedback.  Try to discuss any potentially negative feedback or criticism in private. You don’t want to embarrass yourself or your partner in public or in front of others. Be as specific as you can about the behavior you’d like to improve without attacking your partner’s personality. After-all you’re sharing feedback in hopes of making things better. For this reason, I suggest using “I” statements and expressing your displeasure in terms of your own feelings. No one wants to dwell in the past so keep criticism and complaints to the present. Do your best to remain positive and offer a concrete suggestion for improving or fixing what bothers you.

comm criticismIf you’re anything like most people, it is much easier to give constructive feedback or criticism than it is to be on the receiving end. However, there will come a time when you’ll find yourself on the other side of criticism and you’ll want to be able to hear what your partner has to say. First, I’d suggest emptying your emotional cup so that you are able to fully understand what is being shared with you without popping off because you may already be feeling some type of way. When receiving criticism it is good to listen actively to what is being shared with you. Be sure to ask clarifying questions if you are unsure about anything that is being said. Acknowledge that you understand by paraphrasing the criticism. This bit of advice may be the hardest, but is also the best I can think of: If you are at fault, admit it and work to solve the problem.

It is entirely possible that if you share potentially negative feedback with your partner and they share some feedback with you as well, there is a good chance the two of you may have to do some negotiating. This is particularly true if you feel that both sides of an argument have some merit and worth.  It is important that you do not give in to urge to retaliate because you don’t like what you are hearing. Instead, discuss what is most important and let go of the less important issues. It may be that you and your partner have to agree to disagree AND understand that is okay. Either way, if you are hoping to continue a relationship with your partner – whether romantic or just sexual – it may be helpful to reinforce your partner’s willingness to communicate. Not only will this encourage your partner to share constructive criticism in the future, it also let’s your partner know that you values him/her even when disagreements arise. Though, I like to be positive, I also like to keep it real. Sometime’s conflict cannot be negotiated and the best self-care move may be to end the relationship. Communication and respect for yourself and others go hand in hand; you will need both to practice sexual self-care. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

 

Jul 12

Communication as Sexual Self-Care

Posted on Saturday, July 12, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoWelcome to another Sexy Saturday. Last week I wrote about sexual self-care as the main key to maintaining good sexual health and wellness. I offered a few tips to help you practice sexual self-care. The first and last tip was about practicing open and honest communication with sexual partners. As a Sexologist at UC Berkeley –   you may have heard of it – you can imagine I am in a unique position to observe students sexual communication skills. Let’s just say they’re lacking a bit – until now. This week I’m going to dive a little deeper into communication as sexual self-care. Instead of continuing to explain why this is important, this article is all about how to practice good communication.

Before delving into the how-to portion, I want to recognize that there may be obstacles to sexual communication. Such obstacles include but are certainly not limited to you and your partner having differing feelings on sex talk; irrational beliefs that your partners should know what you desire. Really? Is your partner psychic? If not, then there is no way for them to read your mind and know what you want – not without communicating your wants and desires in some way. Additional blocks to sexual communication include having a different frame of reference than your partner that may be due to cultural differences. On the UC Berkeley campus, it is entirely possible that you and your partner may also have somewhat of a language barrier as well. Last but not least if you or your partners are feeling some type of way, your emotions may interfere with your ability to effectively communicate.

A great way to get started talking about this is to openly recognize and discuss the difficulties of talking about sex with your partner. I suggest that you select a neutral a time and place to discuss the issue. If the two of you have a place that you both enjoy and feel comfortable I suggest going there. When you arrive request permission to bring up the topic of sexual communication. You can say commuication as self caresomething like “Hey, we haven’t talked much about our sexual wants and desires. I’d really like to do that.  Is this something we can talk about now?” You may have a much sexier way of asking your partner for permission.

After your partner grants permission, it is important that you take the time to learn about your partner’s needs as well as make your own requests. With regard to learning about your partner, it is a good idea to listen to what your partner says and ask questions every now and then. If your partner says something that resonates with you, let them know. Self-disclosure often aids in the development of intimacy.  When it comes to making requests for the things you want and desire it is often best to be specific and use “I” statements. You will also want to validate your partner and the discussion by providing information in a positive way. For example, “I really like when you kiss me. I know it would feel incredible if you kissed my inner thighs when you give me oral. Can we try that?”

During sexual experiences be sure to communicate and let your partner know when he or she is doing something correctly or that you’d like more of. The point here is to accentuate the positive.  Use verbal cues. If you are the partner trying something new or requested ask for feedback. Be open to receiving and making suggestions. It would be naïve of me to think that everyone is comfortable using verbal cues during sexual experiences. Nonverbal cues can be super helpful and hot as well.  Take turns pleasing each other. Don’t be afraid to lead your partner by guiding their hand or placing your hands on their hips to help control movement. Use signals to indicate pleasure such as moaning, smiling, or saying something like, “baby, this feels so good,” “don’t stop, please” or “keep doing what you’re doing.”

Okay, that should be enough to get you on the track to practicing open and honest communication with your current and/or future partner(s). Communication is not only lubrication as I’ve said many times before, but also a great tool to have when practicing sexual self-care. Check back next week, when I write about delivering and receiving criticism, because let’s face it – at some point you’ll have to deal with conflict. How you do so will have important implications for the relationship. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Jul 5

Self-Care is Key to Maintaining Good Sexual Health and Wellness

Posted on Saturday, July 5, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoI certainly hope you’re feeling dandy on this super sexy Saturday!  Practicing self-care is a great way to maintain that feeling. People often speak of practicing self-care, but what is it? Let’s say you have an important final tomorrow. It would be good self-care to get a good night’s sleep and eat a healthy breakfast to ensure optimal brain function and performance during the final. Self-care can be thought of as things you can do to promote and maintain our own health and wellness. “Self-care” and “health and wellness” have been buzz words for the past few years. However, less often we speak about sexual self-care; yet, this is an important aspect of general self-care. When I say sexual self-care, I mean taking active measures to ensure your sexual health and wellness is on point.

Though there are multiple reasons to maintain good sexual health and wellness, two simple but important ones immediately come to mind. The first reason is that you want your goods to work when it comes time to use it. Your sexual health can impact your overall health and wellness. For example, if you get an STI, you may have negative thoughts and feelings about it. Such negative thoughts and feelings could lead to sadness and possible depression.  The second reason that comes to mind is that one day you may meet someone with whom you’d like to have a child. If you are in good sexual health, it will likely be much easier to conceive children.

Good sexual health and wellness is the goal, self-care is how we get there. With this in mind, there are many things you can do to practice sexual self-care. To some these things may be more obvious than to others. I’m not just talking about masturbating, either. Though, that is a pretty solid suggestion for sexual self-care. To be sure that we’re all on the same page I propose the following as a good starting point to maintaining good sexual health and wellness:

  1. ss sexual self carePractice open and honest communication with your sexual partners. This includes specifically asking for what you want and saying no to things you don’t want. The latter can be hard to do. This is a good time to remember the wise words of Maggie Kuhn, who said “speak your mind even if your voice shakes.” It is generally a good idea to listen to your gut. While it may be a little uncomfortable at first you’ll likely find that communicating your sexual desires to your partners can be a very sexy experience.
  2. Use protection each time you engage in sexual activity. This may mean something different depending on the types of sex you may be having. For oral experiences this may mean using a flavored condom or dental dam, while for penetrative experiences it may mean using traditional or insertive condoms. With this in mind think of the sexual experiences you enjoy then educate yourself on ways to practice safer sex. Carry your preferred safer sex method whenever there’s a chance you may get some.
  3. Get regular sexual health check-ups and testing. Your primary care doctor or local family planning clinic can help you determine how often you should have a physical examination of your external genitals and internal reproductive parts. These types of exams may or may not include testing for common sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Therefore, it is a good idea to also get tested for STIs regularly if you are sexually active.
  4. Know when to say no. While sexual experiences can be fantastic, there are also a few times that having sex may not be the best idea with regard to health and wellness. For example, if there’s a good chance that having sex may have a negative emotional impact on you, your partner, or someone you care for strongly (e.g., sibling, best-friend, etc.) it is likely in your best interest to say no.  Another great example is if you don’t have safer sex supplies and/or are unsure of your partners STI status, it is better to get blue balls or blue clit than to put yourself at risk. If you find yourself in this last situation, it may be a great time to limit yourself to a PG-13 make out session and get some practice kissing.

There you have it! A few quick and simple ways to practice self-care to help maintain good sexual health and wellness. Whew, that was a mouthful! Pun may be intended. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

May 31

Sexy Summer Fling? Check

Posted on Saturday, May 31, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoIt’s summertime! School is out – or will be soon for some of you – and you’re gone for the summer.  One bright, sunny day as you are relaxing and drinking a cold iced-tea you see someone and instantly you’re thinking about what you’d like to do her/him and have done to you…consensually, of course! The object of your attention notices you too. As they walk closer to you the fantasies becomes more vivid. Yes, you can see it in their eyes. He/she wants you and you want them too. The two of you exchange a look that says “it’s on.” You stand as if to answer their unspoken invitation to…do what? You’ve never been the person to make the first move. You’re not quite sure what to do so you introduce yourself. Make some small talk about how the semester was for you. You tell a rather corny joke just to compliment the person as they smile and laugh. Wanting to end this first encounter with a positive impression, you exchange numbers and gently kiss them on the cheek before you leave.

As you walk away the fantasy builds. Your body is starting to respond to the fantasies. Just your luck you are distracted by your phone ringing. It’s him/her. They want to see you. You want to see them, too. You make plans to meet for smoothies later. As you prepare to meet this person later, you make sure you have everything you’ll need for a successful night: ID. Check. Money. Check. Phone. Check. Condoms. Check. Wet wipes – things may get messy. Check.

ss summer flingYou reach the agreed upon destination and the two of you have great chemistry! You tell them how good their lips look and how much better they probably taste. Your date puckers and says “you have my permission to find out.” You kiss them again, but not on the cheek this time. You feel the electricity between the two of you. Like earlier you begin to fantasize about how great you want this person to make you feel. However, this is only the first date and it’s going to be a long summer. One thing is for sure, you want to have a hot summer fling with your new friend!

Maybe it doesn’t happen like that. Yet, the brief NC-17 fantasy scene above has some good tips for anyone hoping to have a hot summer fling:

  1. Go for what you want. Maybe you are not normally the person to approach someone you find attractive. Just for the summer, push yourself to do something just outside of your comfort zone. It’s only for the summer. Start simple by just saying hi and introducing yourself. Follow that with a bit of small talk. End the conversation on a good note and your new friend will think positively of you when you call to schedule the first date. You just may surprise yourself and find that you’ve got game!
  2.  Practice safer sex. As you prepare for your dates be sure to pack safer sex supplies. You want to have protection easily accessible so that you can safely do all the sexy things you and your new friend enthusiastically consent to. 
  3. Keep realistic expectations. In the above scenario, it ends with the person realizing that all they want is a summer fling – not to fall in love and be with the person forever. A summer fling is meant to be short and temporary. The best way to facilitate that without getting hurt emotionally is to go into with realistic expectations. In other words, try not to get too attached. Keep it light, fun, and safe while enjoy every inch of each other for the summer. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

 

May 28

Dying to Love

Posted on Wednesday, May 28, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoBy now I’m sure you’ve heard about, seen news coverage, or somehow  learned of the young woman who was publicly stoned to death for getting married. Many of you may be thinking, WTF!?! You are not alone. A 25-year old, Pakistan woman was stoned to death by her father and other family members – get this – in front of a courthouse! No lie; I’ve added a link at the bottom for you to check it out yourself.  The father is proud that his daughter is dead because by following her heart she somehow dishonored the family.

It would seem to me that there is more honor in denouncing your arranged marriage  and marrying the man you love. I’m just saying. Don’t get me wrong – I am not against arranged marriages. However, I fully support a woman’s right to make her own decision regarding who she will marry – whether arranged, or for money or love. We are not the one’s who have to live with the decision so why should we have a say in it?

As a Sexologist, I’ve studied the sexual practices and norms of quite a few cultures other than my own. While I don’t believe in yucking other people’s yum’s I am not okay with so-called “honor killing”. honour-killing1Where is the honor in being so close-minded that you would kill your OWN child or loved-one because she dared to marry the man she loved? I certainly am unable to see it.  If you believe that your daughter or family member has brought dishonor to the family – okay. A more appropriate response may be to yell at your daughter or maybe disown her if the family feels the offense was that horrible – just don’t kill her! For a culture so concerned with honor, I’m left wondering how murdering your daughter helps to restore the family honor. Though I see through a different lens, it seems to me  that you would bring more dishonor to your family for committing murder and leaving the family without a male leader. Furthermore, does it not dishonor your daughter or family member to kill them? I’m confused. I’m just saying.

Although this story is tragic, there is something to be honored in this story – that a young woman was lucky enough to meet someone and fall in love and have that person love her back. That is no easy feat I tell you. There are many women – old and young – that are still waiting to meet their Mr./Mrs. Right – myself included. Unfortunately, I keep meeting Mr. Right Now.  That this young woman was strong enough to fight for what she believed in is incredibly honorable. Especially, when done in the face of long-standing opposition. Maybe, just maybe, her death will not be in vain and future Pakistani women will not be killed for marrying the person they love. There is no better feeling in the world than loving and being loved.  Love is always worth fighting for. Until next time…

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/family-stones-pakistani-woman-death-honor-killing-outside-court-n115336

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

May 17

Safer and Sexy in San Ramon

Posted on Saturday, May 17, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoI recently held my final Human Sexuality class for the spring 2014 semester at San Ramon Valley College (SRC). Though I have been an instructor there for the past 7 semesters, this semester was definitely among the favorites! Students were more sex positive, more cognitively mature; group presentations and class participation were great. There were a few firsts as well as a few bumps but what human sexuality course is without its bumps? All things considered, this was an awesome semester!

Many of my readers know that I am a full-time Health Educator at UC Berkeley and that I have a small side business, SEXUCATION LLC. However, not as many people are aware that I am also a Human Sexuality instructor, part-time. No, I’m not Jamaican. Lol….I am happy to report that during my tenure at SRC I have observed students becoming more sex positive. For  example, this is the second semester in a row that when we discussed some of the more, often times, controversial topics like sexual orientation there has been no debate to speak of. I love it!

While I’d like to credit my experience and skill as the reason that my students were more sex positive this spring semester I’m sure it had more to do with many of the students seeming to be more cognitively mature. They seemed better  able to handle the material in a more maturely than previous years. There was little giggling at new and uncomfortable images. Well, this was true for most of the students anyway. I even had at least one mature high school student in my class.

ss sexy in SRCOn the final day of class I had the students do group presentations as I normally do. However, this particular group of students collectively did a great job! So great, in fact, that I am thinking of ways to share them with you all! One group did a commercial, while another group interviewed a porn star. Each group had thoroughly researched their topic. They were assigned to do something interactive and many of them did a quiz of some sort with candy prizes including penis and vulva lollipops. They made the mistake of letting me participate – I won! More importantly, I was impressed with the group presentations and my students overall.

I wouldn’t be honest if I said this semester was without its problems. Unfortunately, I had a student cheat on a quiz – like obviously cheated. This is not the first semester this has happened. Enough bad news…I had my first Teaching Assistant (TA), Colton. Colton was great! He had aced my class a few semesters ago and asked if he could be my TA. I’m glad I said yes! I’m looking forward to having Colton back next semester. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

May 10

Safer Sex Up-Cycling!

Posted on Saturday, May 10, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoWhat do you get when you cross a super sex positive Goddess with a group of UC Berkeley SEXperts and nearly 1500 expired insertive condoms? You get three wonderful and amazing end of the semester projects!

Before I share these awesome projects, I’d like to back up just a bit and give you some background…A few years ago the unit I work in scored an HIV grant that allowed us to purchase a rather large quantity of insertive (female) condoms. Our sex positive purchasing took much longer to distribute than we originally thought. Unfortunately, quite a few condoms expired – approximately 1500. I pulled the condoms from their regular location in the supply closet to be thrown out. However, I started to think about the many items I have made out of expired condoms. Such items include belts, purses, tote bags, earrings, necklaces, and more! Students tend to love my random expired condom gear. As such, I thought “what better way to get rid of so many expired insertive condoms than to have a fun group project making something…anything out of the expired insertive condoms?” Think of it as safer sex up-cycling, if you will.

Project Design 1

Project Design 1

Therefore instead of throwing the expired insertive condoms out, I challenged my UC Berkeley SEXpert students with an assignment to create something special out of them. For this assignment I split the students into 3 groups and gave each group 500 condoms. The instructions were simple: make something in 3D – I didn’t care what. However, I did jokingly say that if I could wear what they design that’d be better. As an incentive I arranged for one lucky group’s design to be on display at the upcoming UC Berkeley Doe Library sex ed exhibit, Bird’s Do It, Bee’s Do It: A century of (mis)education in the US, from September 2014 through March 2015.

Project 1. The first group designed a messenger bag and penis model! The messenger bag is usable – I tried it out last week to carry items back to the office from an outreach event. The bag fits a laptop up to maybe 15”. The penis model is too large to fully fit in the bag.

Project Design 2

Project Design 2

Project 2. The second group designed a classic cut red dress with insertive condoms sewn all over it and accessories! The dress has a matching belt made of red ribbon with the plastic inner ring from the insertive condoms at either end of the belt. As if that wasn’t enough this group also designed a necklace and earrings using the inner rings as well. The plastic rings for the necklace are held together with red and pink bows trimmed in gold. The earrings are actually so practical that I’ve worn them a few different places and no one has a clue that I’m wearing part of a safer sex supply!

Project Design 3

Project Design 3

Project 3. The third group design was also a dress with full accessories! Unlike the red dress, this dress is a more modern style in gray. This dress has a hi-lo ruffle made of insertive condoms. Like the other outfit, there is a matching belt and necklace made using the plastic rings from inside the insertive condom.

So, which design won???? A combination of all three! And it fits perfect! You can see the dress with accessories and messenger bag on display this Fall. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

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