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May 7

Stop Stressing with More Safer Sexing!

Posted on Wednesday, May 7, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoI write a monthly tip for the UC Berkeley monthly Buzz – for you sexy people who didn’t already know. A colleague suggested I expand my May tip into a blog. Great suggestion, Caitlin!

At this time in the semester many students may feel stressed preparing for and taking finals. Not to worry, sex may be able to help with that. More to come on that… Stress is how you respond mentally and physiologically to challenges and changes in your daily lives. Contrary to popular belief not all stress is bad for you. Positive stress happens often enough for there to be a term for it, eustress. Eustress is the type of stress that makes you work harder to achieve your goals. For many college students feelings of eustress and distress (stress) may be experienced simultaneously.

While it is possible to experience positive and negative stress at the same time, students tend to notice negative stress more as it impacts health and general wellness. Common symptoms may include headaches, acne, increased heart rate, nausea, diarrhea, decreased ability to fight illness, reduced sexual desire – who wants that!?! Good news: sex and orgasm offer several health benefits!  This is due to the hormones that are released as part of our response to sexual arousal, stimulation and orgasm.  As such, when engaged in safely, sex may be just what you need to relieve a bit of stress and maintain optimal health and brain function for finals season.  Here are 5 ways that sex and orgasm contribute to a healthier you for finals:

  1. Relieves stress – during sex you release a hormone, oxytocin, which is associated with relaxation and calm among other great benefits. Being in a relaxed state may help you feel less anxious while studying or taking a final exam which will likely lead to a better performance and final exam grade.
  2. Boosts immunity – In a recent study, researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that college students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of the a certain antibody compared to students who had sex less often. The benefits of having a good immune system during finals are self-explanatory to most people. Yet, for the few who it isn’t – boosting immunity helps your body fight off illnesses such as common colds which are rampant during finals.positice stress cycle
  3. Improves cardiovascular health and brain function– during sex and orgasm there is an increased flow of blood to all parts of the body including the heart and brain. The increasing flow of blood and therefore, oxygen allows the brain and heart to function more optimally.
  4. Helps you sleep better – thanks to release of endorphins and prolactin in addition to other hormones, your body experiences a feeling similar to a state of extreme relaxation and sedation. This is often why people fall asleep following sexual experiences – in addition to being worn out from the physical activity. In my role as a health and wellness coach – I can assure you that sleep is something most college students can certainly use more of!
  5. Feeling of general happiness – the combination of oxytocin and endorphins leaves you with a general feeling of happiness and bliss following sex and orgasm. You tend to perform better – academically as well as non-academically – when you are happy and feeling good about yourself.

Ask your partner to help you stay healthy this finals season with a dose – or two or three –  of safer sex! No partner? No problem. The health benefits mentioned above are achievable for those enjoying solo sex or sex in which your partner enthusiastically consented.  Enjoy! Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Apr 29

Going Out SHEP Style: Authors, condom projects, awards, and more

Posted on Tuesday, April 29, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logo

We recently had our final Sexual Health Education Program (SHEP) seminar of the semester and traditional end of semester potluck. For the past several semesters we have had an aphrodisiac themed potluck with various forms of entertainment from group presentations, games, to talent shows. However, this semester I decided to do things slightly different and invited Danielle Sepulveres, author of Losing It: The Semi-scandalous story of an ex-virgin, to join us. I’ve discussed this book in an earlier article,  Losing It: A look at Cervical Health Through the Eyes of An Ex-Virgin

Author Danielle Sepulveres poses with SEXperts who won free copies her book, Losing It: The semi-scandalous story of an ex-virgin

Author Danielle Sepulveres poses with SEXperts who won free copies her book, Losing It: The semi-scandalous story of an ex-virgin

Though on a book tour she took time to come chat with my SEXperts at UC Berkeley! Danielle shared a  little about the experience that lead her to write a book on being diagnosed Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) cervical cancer form. She also chatted a bit about how life has changed since publishing a personal story and answered questions. The SEXperts were interested specifically in how disclosing a personal matter in such a public way may have changed how her loved ones view her.

Danielle was kind enough to bring along books to giveaway. She decided that the SEXperts who came up with the best Sexy Names (a name alliteration activity that SHEP is well-known for; e.g., Rockstar Robin) for her and a friend she had with her would win the books. The SEXperts came up several great options. Some names were raunchy such as “Dick Me Down Danielle” while others were sweet like “Delicious Danielle.” Sadly, I do not recall which 3 sexy names won.

First ever  Official SEXpert Certificate!

First ever Official SEXpert Certificate!

As part of our traditional potluck we usually hold the SHEPIs, an award ceremony with varying levels of recognition. The students are given the opportunity to recognize their peers for career-based aspirations, personality traits, knowledge and more. The peer-based awards are meant to be fun. As the staff coordinator, I tend to recognize students that stood out for one reason or another. This semester was no exception. SEXpert Jasmine was recognized for being the SEXPert with the most growth, while Lucero was recognized as the most dedicated and responsible SEXpert. Student Leader, Summer, was recognized for being the Student Leader to make the most growth during her time in SHEP. If  that wasn’t exciting enough, this year along with the standard SHEPIs, we also recognized those students who went above and beyond the minimum program requirements to earn the first ever SHEP completion certificates making them official SEXperts. That’s super HOT!

We certainly had an interesting and intriguing year here in the Sexual Health Education Program (SHEP). In addition to having Danielle join us, and presenting the first official SEXpert awards, the SEXperts shared their final Insertive Condom group projects.  This exciting project deserves its own blog article which is coming soon. Until next time…

 

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

 

Apr 8

Drinking Watermelon: What Beyonce is singing about

Posted on Tuesday, April 8, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logo  Given that April is Alcohol Awareness Month and the increasingly popular song, Drunk in Love by Beyonce, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put my 2 cents in regarding the somewhat ambiguous line “I been drinkin’ watermelon…” It was only a matter of time.

First, let me give props where they are due – Beyonce did the damn thing as a Black woman! I’m proud of the fact that she shut down iTunes when she released her latest album this past December without any prior album marketing or promotions! Good job, Bey! Second reason to give her props here is that this album is lyrically superior to previous albums – or so I’m told – I’m actually not a big fan of a Beyonce. However, I am also partially basing this on the numerous articles that popped up during my search to learn what Beyonce is talking about when she delivers that oh so intriguing line about drinking watermelon in Drunk in Love. This song has been on the billboard charts for the past 15 weeks, reaching as high as 2nd place. More importantly, the song is my 3 year-olds favorite song right now, so when I read somewhere that Beyonce may be singing about drinking sperm – my mommy censor went off. With good conscience, I could not let my daughter run around singing about drinking sperm.  In contrast, the Sexologist in me was more interested in the song and Beyonce than ever before.

What is Beyonce singing about? Anyone who has ever tried watermelon knows there are often tons of seeds which you may end up SS drunk in loveswallowing. According to Urban Dictionary, “drinking watermelon” reference to drinking a male’s seed, or sperm. While some people think Beyonce is referring to swallowing Jay’s metaphorical “seed,” others think the line is a cultural reference because she is Black and all Black people love watermelon – or so the stereotype goes. I reject both of these ideas as being ridiculous, especially when you put the song into context. After pulling the song lyrics and carefully reading and analyzing them I am almost 100% sure that when Beyonce sings that she has been “drinking watermelon” that she is in fact, singing about an alcoholic beverage – not drinking her husband’s sperm.

In the first verse, Beyonce opens with “I’ve been drinking, I’ve been drinking. I get filthy when that liquor get into me…” A few lines later in the first verse, she continues “…why can’t I keep my fingers off it, baby I want you…” This is the initial reference that the song is about sex under the influence of alcohol. If that wasn’t clear enough, the hook comes in with her singing “…drunk in love, we be all night…” While I could go through this song line by line and break it down that is not necessary to prove the watermelon line is about a beverage and not sperm.  When researching the possibilities of what the line means, I came across a drink recipe that gives the exact ingredients Beyonce sings about – Armand de Brignac, D’Usse, and watermelon juice or vodka, depending on which recipe you choose, either way the name of the drink is, wait for it…WATERMELON. “Boy, I’m drinking. Get my brain right. Armand de Brignac. Gangsta wife…” this is a reference to the first ingredient in the above mentioned drink. Armand de Brignac is an expensive champagne. From previous songs we know that Beyonce and husband Jay-Z are into the finer things in life such as champagne. When hubby Jay comes in, he raps “that “D’Usse is the ****. If I do say so myself.” Not only is D’Usse the 2nd ingredient in SS drunk in love 2the Watermelon drink, but also a high end cognac made by Bacardi for which Jay-Z is the official celebrity spokesperson. Shameless plug? Last hint that the song is about an alcoholic beverage comes in the final verse which includes the now infamous line in the last verse of the song:

I been sippin’ that’s the only thing that keeping me on fire, me on fire

Didn’t mean to spill that liquor all on my attire

I been drinking watermelon

I want your body right here, daddy I want you, right now…

Though I understand why some people think this song is about swallowing and drinking sperm now that I know what “drinking watermelon” can also mean. However, Beyonce is clearly referring to a watermelon based drink, hence the word “liquor”. So, there you have it – debate settled! Interesting fact, there is a new waterless drink, WTRMLN WTR, that claims to boost libido as a result of high levels of Citrulline – an amino acid said to relax and dilate blood vessels. WTRMLN WTR is made of pressed fresh melons and rinds. This sounds like a drink I’m going to have to try! Unfortunately, this drink has just made it to the West Coast and I have yet to find it.

Noticeably, I have not addressed the larger issues with this song – the fact that there are multiple references to sex under the influence which brings up the question of ability to consent in California, not being able to recall what occurred during sex which is never okay, as well as a reference that may be understood to many as intimate partner violence. Guess what, April is also Sexual Assault Awareness Month! Maybe I’ll take a look at this song through that lens soon. Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Apr 4

Self-Directed STI Testing Comes to Tang!

Posted on Friday, April 4, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoDid you hook up with someone and now you’re not sure if you have an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection)? Or has it been a while since your last STI check? If you’re answer is “yes” to either question posed you are in luck!!!! You can get tested for STIs at the Tang Center without scheduling an appointment. How? Using the new University Health Services, Tang Center Self-Directed STI Testing option, that’s how. We’ve been working on this new service for 3+ years and not it’s finally come to fruition. I, for one, am super excited about this new service and testing option!

Self-Directed STI Testing is available to all UC Berkeley students regardless of having enrolled in the University’s Student Health Insurance Plan (SHIP).  However, if you are hoping to use this new service you will need to have an eTang Portal email address, which can be setup online at your convenience. While there are many STIs that you could be exposed to the new self-directed testing option is limited to the following common tests and sample collections:

  1. HIV anti-body test using a blood sample SS STD image
  2. Chlamydia test using a urine sample
  3. Gonorrhea test using a urine sample

This new service is great for students who are at low-risk. Low-risk students include students who do not have any current physical symptoms. Is that you?  This service is not intended to replace medical appointments, but rather to serve as an additional screening tool for STIs.  This service is not recommended if you are experiencing any symptoms that may be associated with STIs such as a rash, itching, unusual discharge from the vagina or anus, or other common symptom. If you fall in this latter camp, I encourage you to schedule a medical appointment to be seen and obtain treatment, if necessary. I would also encourage you to schedule a Health and Wellness coaching appointment if you are not sure why you think you are at risk for an STI or if you would like information on how to prevent STIs in the future.  If you were the victim of a sexual assault or think you should get tested because you had sex while you were high or drunk and cannot recall if you used a condom or dental dam you are encouraged to schedule an appointment with our Social Services staff.

Right now could not be a better time to launch the University Health Services, Tang Center Self-Directed (STI) Testing as April is STD (sexually transmitted disease) Awareness Month! It is always a good idea to know your STI status, especially if you plan on being sexual with others. Happy testing!  Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Mar 22

Tips to Overcome First Date Jitters

Posted on Saturday, March 22, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoI recently went on a first date and it got me to thinking about all of my readers who may be new to dating. Even if you consider yourself to be a pro at dating you may still get “first date” jitters. You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach that feels similar to having butterflies flying around. You may even think you’re going to vomit a little – hopefully you don’t. As the date gets closer you may start to forget assignments or have trouble paying attention to friends or professors. Nerves and hormones are responsible for that feeling. You are likely nervous because you don’t know what to expect on a first date, yet, you want to put your best self forward to improve your chances of a second date. I’m going to give you a few quick tips to ease the first date jitters.

I am going to be super positive and assume that you’ve met someone that you would like to date. You’ve already gotten the hardest part out of the way by introducing yourself and asking them on a date. Maybe the big first date is tonight. Maybe it’s next weekend. Who knows, maybe you’ll keep this information in your back pocket for a later day. Here are a few tips to keep in mind on your first date:SS first date

  1. Keep it light. This piece of advice is true for both your location and conversation. With regard to location you don’t want to intimidate your date or make them feel uncomfortable. Keeping this in mind try to choose a place that is well lit and in public. A few suggestions are taking your date to your favorite café or diner, maybe going out to a comedy show, game or other organized event. An outdoor, day-time first date would be great as well. If you or your date are a bit on the shy side going to see a movies is great. This will give something to talk about after. As for conversation keep this light as well.  Limit the conversation to small talk. Tell your date what you do. Ask your date to share what he/she enjoys doing. What’s their favorite book? Movie? Class? Do you have anything in common? If so, talk about it. Small talk will allow your date to talk about something they are comfortable with while allowing you to get to know your date better.
  2. Be Yourself or as we like to say in Health Promotion, Do YOU! Relax. Take a deep breath. You’ve made it to the first date so your date likes something about you. At this time your job is to be the best you you can be. Who knows how to be you better than you? Smile. Do you have a special “thing” or talent? Share it with your date. Do you have a silly story you can share?
  3. Compliment your date. Everyone likes to be told they look nice. Don’t skimp on the compliments on a first date. However, don’t be that creep that compliments everything your date does either. If you’re not sure what is okay to compliment on and what might land you in the “creep” zone, I’d say a general rule of thumb is anything above the waist is okay to compliment your date on. With the exception of breasts, of course. Compliment your date on their smile, how nice they look, or maybe their hair. Oh, and shoes are okay as well. At the end of your date, thank your date for a great time.

I can’t guarantee that by following my advice your date will go perfect. However, I do think that if you keep my tips in mind you’ll have a much better chance of getting a second date. If you leave your date with a positive mental image of you they are more likely to think fondly of you when you call for that second date. Good luck on your next first date. Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Mar 21

Foreplay and Sex: How important is it?

Posted on Friday, March 21, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoThe last Sexy Saturdays article, The Great Thing About Foreplay, was obviously written on the topic of foreplay. It included what foreplay is, what various types of foreplay may look like such as verbal and physical. It also included information the goal of foreplay as well as the role our hormones play with regard to sexual arousal and foreplay. However, I apparently left room for a few questions and I have since been requested to answer. Knowledge, a blog reader, commented

“But how important is foreplay? What about having sex without. Does that take away for [sic] sex…is there a level you wish to hit in foreplay before intercourse…it’s [sic] sex without foreplay better. Good topic but it had some UN answered questions…please elaborate if your [sic] knowable.”

Knowledge this one’s for you. First, I’d like to thank you for taking the time to read my article and comment on it. Second, I love that you were brave enough to ask for additional information. I am more than happy to answer your follow-up questions without further ado.

In my opinion foreplay is highly important to many sexual experiences. However, as I stated in The Great Thing about Foreplay, foreplay does not necessarily have to be a prelude to sexual intercourse or orgasm. I am assumingSS foreplay part 2 by “intercourse” that you are referring to penetrative sex – whether with a penis, phallic object/toy, finger, or something else doesn’t really matter as far as my response is concerned. As such, foreplay prior to penetration is important as it enhances sexual arousal.  When it comes to penetrating bodily orifices such as the vagina, anus, or mouth, it’s a good idea to keep in mind that wetter is better! The more lubrication the easier it will be to penetrate your desired hole. Remember the role of foreplay with regard to penetrative sex is to increase sexual arousal so that the body is ready for penetration making foreplay super important, if I do say so myself.

As stated in The Great Thing about Foreplay, foreplay is by no means a requirement or prerequisite for sex.  If you don’t have time for foreplay or if foreplay was never part of the plan you can absolutely still have a pleasurable sexual experience by adding commercial lubrication. (For more information on lube including types and associated benefits and risks of lube see Sexy Saturdays article, Wetter is Better).  

By including foreplay it will likely make the vagina wetter and the penis more erect at the time of penetration than it would be without having any foreplay.  I don’t think it necessarily takes anything away from sex to not have foreplay. However, it certainly makes it better when you have it. Having a “quickie” where the point may be to have minimal foreplay, if any at all would be one of the only exceptions. Quickies tend to bring their own special level of excitement that may increase sexual arousal enough for penetration without any foreplay. However, even in the instance of a quickie, I would still suggest a minimal amount of foreplay. Which brings me to your question of there being a preferred level to hit in foreplay before intercourse.

I cannot say that every person will benefit from a certain amount of foreplay. Nor can I say that one type of foreplay is better than another for others. What I can say is that the amount and level of foreplay varies from sexual experience to sexual experience and from partner to partner. It also depends on your mood and interest in sex at the time. With that in mind, if you are hoping to have penetrative sex with a female bodied person I would suggest continuing foreplay for at least 5-10 minutes after seeing vaginal lubrication on the outside of the females vulva (genitals). Then slowly penetrate the vagina until your partner is ready for more. This will help to ensure that there is lubrication is on the inside of the vagina as well as on the outside of the vulva allowing for a more pleasurable and slippery entrance. If you are hoping to have sex with a male bodied person, I would suggest continuing foreplay until his penis is erect and your partner can’t take it anymore.  Of course, there is always the tried and true method of checking in with your partner to see if they are ready for penetration or if they’d like to continue the foreplay. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “communication is lubrication” and foreplay can only make it better! I hope this answered your questions, Knowledge. Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

 

Mar 8

The Great Thing About Foreplay

Posted on Saturday, March 8, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoDo you remember your first PG-13 make-out session? I do. I was 13 years old. I was in my first “real” relationship. I was in my room or somewhere – I don’t really remember that part. What I do remember is kissing my partner for minutes at a time coming up only for air. When I say minutes at a time, I think we kissed for about an hour. During the make-out session we touched each other under our shirts. The sensations that my body experienced were AMAZING! It was the first time my vagina tingled that special way that it does when I’m horny. When the session was over my panties were soaked and my partner had an erection that was clearly visible through his super baggy jeans.  We hadn’t had sex of any kind – just passionately kissing and touching. I’m not talking about the kind of kiss you give your Grandma. I’m talking about the type of kissing that involves open mouths and often an exchange of saliva. You may know it as French, TV, or deep kissing, swapping spit, tongue wrestling, doing the tongue tango, or some other name.  That PG-13 make-out session was my introduction to sexual experiences and foreplay.

While kissing is the most common form of foreplay, it is not nearly the only form.  Foreplay is any verbal or physical interaction that foreplay 2leads to sexual desire or arousal. Often time’s foreplay is used as a prelude to orgasm or sex – whatever type you may be having. Verbal foreplay may be calling your partner on the phone and telling them how much you want to ravish them the next time the two of you are together. It may be speaking in sexy, breathy voice, or whispering sweet nothings or dirty talk. Physical forms of foreplay may include cuddling, kissing, touching, and oral sex, and more. The great thing about foreplay is that literally anything you and your partner(s) do to turn each other on counts. How hot is that!?!

Goal of foreplay is to have a pleasurable sexual experience.  It may or may not be a prelude to orgasm or sex. The duration of foreplay varies from experience to experience. You may have a short period of foreplay that lasts just minutes. You may have foreplay that starts in the morning and lasts all day. For the record, women report wanting longer periods of foreplay than men do. Figured I’d throw that out there as a hint to any of you hoping to have sex with women.

foreplay 1There are several hormones that play a role in sexual arousal including testosterone, estrogen, progesterone, and more. Foreplay is important as it helps to stimulate the release of these sexy hormones and heighten sexual experiences. If you are using foreplay as a prelude to sex with penetration it is a great way to get your vagina wet enough or penis erect in preparation. If you are using foreplay as a prelude to orgasm, it is a great way to stimulate your partner all the way to your goal! If you’re not using foreplay as a prelude to sex or orgasm as many people do, it’s a great way to build intimacy between you and your partner(s).

Today is a great day for some foreplay. Call, text, or snapchat that lucky someone and tell them all the things you want to do to them…consensually, of course! You’re on your way to enjoying foreplay. Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Mar 1

Cuddle Houses: Sweet or Sketchy?

Posted on Saturday, March 1, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoFeeling lonely? Need a hug? For a small fee someone will cuddle you and make you feel better! Over the past few months I’ve heard more and more about “cuddle” or “snuggle” houses opening and people becoming professional cuddlers.  While cuddle and snuggle houses have been on my list of Sexy Saturday topics to write for quite some time now, it was just the past week that I was reminded of their existence.  While watching the news recently there was a story about the Cuddle Connection, a Roseville, California – a business where adults can go lay down with a paid partner who will hug and cuddle with you for a pre-set period of time.

When I think of cuddle houses I’m reminded of the first time I’d heard of a professional “cuddler.” It was during my time in the hospital after the traumatic birth of my gorgeous daughter.  There were people who volunteer to hold and cuddle new born infants in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). You may be wondering why an infant would be cuddled by a complete stranger? For whatever reason, a parent or loved one may be unavailable to hold and cuddle a new born yet the human interaction is so incredibly valuable to the infant. I imagine it is quite valuable for the volunteering cuddler as well – albeit to a lesser degree.  The same idea applies to adults who have no one to cuddle them.  Human contact is good to have at any age. cuddling 2

When I hear of cuddle houses in the media today,  they are not speaking of the sweet NICU volunteers. No; cuddle houses are more likely to be compared to massage parlors. I love getting massages, as such I’m all for legal massage parlors, yet they do have somewhat of a negative reputation. Given my internal conflict, I was interested to hear what others thought about the idea of there being a place where adult people can go and get cuddled for a fee.  I asked Health Promotion front office student staff and former Sexpert, Kim, to share her opinion. Kim said cuddle houses sound like an “interesting new thing.” When asked what kinds of people would she imagine using the service she responded “older men who are not satisfied at home or don’t have anyone…a companion.” Kim admitted it is “a little weird that someone would pay for it. But there’s a market for everything now.”

I still had mixed feelings about cuddle houses and decided to check out Cuddle Connection’s website.  According to their website, for a cuddling 3nominal fee they offer cuddling for 30, 60, or 90 minutes in one of five pre-determined positions:

 

  1. Classic Spooning – We are great “Big Spoons”.  If you would like to be the big spoon, there will be a pillow placed between our lower torsos.
  2. The Half Spoon-A full dose! Cuddling you lying on you back with your cuddler’s head on your chest.
  3.  “Hug you into Happiness”.  Your cuddler is seated up to backrest and you sit in front, then lean back into your cuddler then he/she will wrap their arms around you in embrace.
  4. Face to Face, holding hands between our torsos- It is very sweet!
  5. “Lap it Up”…. I am seated and you are lying with your head in your cuddler’s lap. Sessions are based on nurturing, non-sexual tender human contact. Embracing only.

 

They do make it clear that cuddled clients are not to get naked during the cuddling session. Yet and still, after looking at the website description of the cuddles I don’t know if I think this service sounds sweet or sketchy.  I’m just playing. Honestly, I like the idea of cuddle houses, especially if they stay clean and are used for strictly cuddling with clothes on.  Take the clothes off and things start to sound sketchy real quick. Maybe I’ll go to Roseville and try the Cuddle Connection to form a better opinion of cuddle houses.  Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Feb 28

Timing of Sexual Debuts and Your Health

Posted on Friday, February 28, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoI was recently invited to speak in my UC Berkeley co-worker, Sarah Gamble’s, Public Health (PH) 14 class on sexual debuts.  Presenting this topic is not new to me. Nor is writing on this topic – last year I dedicated Sexy Saturdays for the entire month of March to various sexual debuts. However, I was amazed with some of the information that I found when prepping for the talk. Generally when I’m asked to talk about sexual debuts it is about why I use the phrase “sexual debuts” as opposed to talking about losing “virginity,” the types of sexual debuts, and average age of various debuts.  These talks also include a few slides on the relationship status at sexual debut and reason for engaging in said debut. You know the usual stuff. What made this talk so interesting to me was the added component of how sexual debuts may impact health. It was a simple addition, yet so interesting to research and then present to the PH 14 students.

What did I find that was so interesting? As shared in the Sexy Saturdays article, ­­­­­The First Time…, the average age at sexual debut in the US is 17 years old. I find it interesting that many people who have V cardtheir initial debuts earlier or later than the norm of 17 years old experience a range of health outcomes, many of which are negative.  According to the most recent results of the National Health and Social Life Survey, males and females who experience earlier sexual debuts are more likely to have more sexual partners as well as to engage in riskier sex including sex under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Needless to say, findings also show an increase in sexually transmitted infections among people who have earlier sexual debuts.

When looking at gender differences associated with earlier sexual debuts I found that males tend to deny their risk of HIV more than females and males who have later initial sexual debuts. Males also experience more difficulty with sexual functioning as far as arousal, erection, and orgasm as well as a general decline in health. I find that interesting because so many males are encouraged through social constructions to engage in sexual experiences fairly early into their teens. Does society secretly want young men to have sexual difficulty later in life? I’m sure pharmaceutical companies do, but the average male I’d like to believe thinks differently about this.  Early initial debuts was found to be associated with an increase in negative attitudes towards condoms for women.

What about gender differences of those who experience later initial sexual debuts?  Interestingly, males tend to show similar issues to the males who have earlier sexual debuts as far as sexual function is concerned.  According to this research, males are more likely to experience difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection to the point of orgasm if they have early or late initial sexual debuts. Women who experiences later sexual debuts were found to also have increased difficulty with sexual arousal. Both males and females who have later initial sexual debuts tend to have less experiences of sex under the influence of drugs and alcohol as well as less incidences of sexuallyED esque transmitted infections.

While the information shared up to this point has been interesting, the most interesting thing I found was that males who have their initial sexual debut after getting married, still experience an increase difficulty getting and keeping erections. In other words, it’s hard for guys to stay hard if their initial sexual debut was found to be earlier or later than the norm or after getting married.  Good luck, guys! This is one more reason I’m thankful for being a woman. Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

 

 

Feb 21

Dear Genitals…

Posted on Friday, February 21, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoIt’s February and love is in the air! Love for your genitals! I tried a new assignment this semester – I assigned my students the task of writing a letter to their genitals! You read right – a letter to their genitals. On the day we covered female reproductive anatomy and physiology I gave my San Ramon Valley College students an assignment to write a letter to their genitals. Several students erupted in laughter – mostly males – until one clever female student commented that the guys would likely have to do the same thing the following week when we covered male anatomy and physiology. I immediately confirmed that was the assignment.  The students expressed some concern over how awkward it would be to write such a letter as many of them have never thought of their genitals in this way, if at all.

Much to my surprise the student letters to their genitals were AMAZING! Many of the young women thanked their genitals for bringing so much pleasure to their lives. To this end several of them dedicated sections to or specifically cited their clitoris and the 8,000 nerve endings. Others thanked their genitals for the ability to have multiple orgasms and to give birth. One student wrote “I seriously don’t know how you’re so tiny and yet you can bring so many lives into this world.” One student even thanked her genitals for allowing her to “decorate” her vulva with piercings. Interesting and intriguing.

After reading the letters from the young women, I couldn’t wait to hear what the guys would write to their genitals.  They did not disappoint. Many of the males addressed their letters “Dear Dick” or “Dear Penis” and then continued with multiple penis puns throughout the letter. While the puns were amusing, they were cleverly used to make valid points. More than half of them thanked their genitals for not being female genitals specifically with regard to menstruating and giving birth.  Not as many male students commented on their ability to urinate while standing. However, when it was mentioned the guys were thanking their penis for allowing them to urinate Love letter“wherever [they] please.”

There are 2 student letters to their genitals that I have requested permission from the students to share the full letters. If they grant said permission, you’re in for a real treat. One letter addresses multiple issues including penis size stereotypes. This student wrote that he has “no idea why people say all Asians have small [penises] because obviously [he’d] been excluded from the stereotype.”  The other letter is written mostly about the role of hormones and how that relationship can be a bit tumultuous at times.  Intriguing I tell you!

After all students turned in this assignment, we discussed what it felt like to write a letter to their genitals. As expected, a few people felt it was just as awkward after writing the letter as they thought it’d be when I gave them the assignment.  The majority of the students enjoyed the assignment. They commented that it was fun and thought-provoking as many of them never though t about their genitals beyond urinating and having sex.   If you have never written a letter to your genitals you may want to seriously consider it. You may learn more about your genitals than you think. Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

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