Over the past several months I have been asked to explain the difference between the various types of sex educators including sex geeks, sexperts, and me. If you’ve been wondering about the difference, or want to know why I feel qualified to educate and give advice on sex this article is dedicated to you. This is also for the people I may have given dirty looks to or even laughed in your face when you referred to yourself as a sexologist without meeting my base requirements to do so.
A sex geek is a person who has taught themselves about sex. Often times this is a person who stumbles upon the fact that they enjoy learning about sex. So, they take it upon themselves to learn more. Most sex geeks have not received any training in the field of sex.
A sexpert is likely to have had some training but does not hold a degree in the field. This may be a student who is in or has gone through a comprehensive training in sex. A great example of sexperts would be the interns I train and mentor as part of my full-time job at UC Berkeley. Some sexperts may even have certificates supporting their “sexpert” status.
A sexologist, such a myself, is a person who has earned a degree in the field of sex. While I have a master’s degree in human sexuality studies some sexologists have a bachelor degree and others have doctoral degrees. With a degree in human sexuality many people go into academia, but a few people from my cohort have gone into the adult entertainment industry as well. The fact that I’m super sex positive and eat, breathe, and sleep sexual health education sets me apart from other sexologists elevating me to a Sex Goddess.
The one thing we all have in common is a genuine interest in sex – beyond just having it. Sex workers and surrogates should also be included along the continuum of sex educators. Where would depend on the type of sex work they do and how they classify themselves. I hope the distinctions made in this article help you better understand the difference in sex educators and where you fit in.
Until next Saturday: keep it safe and sexy,
Robin, the Sex Goddess
In the US, February is National Condom Month. Various institutions also celebrate national Condom Day on or around February 14.
Originally started in 1978 by students on the campus of the University of California – Berkeley, as an educational event designed to promote condom use and safer sex practices among Cal students.
During the 1980s – 1990s National Condom Week expanded from a local campus event to one that was embraced by universities, high schools, AIDS organizations, sexually transmitted infection awareness organizations, family planning organizations and pharmacies.
While humor is used to help provide education, National Condom Week has become a tool to help educate young adults about serious risks involved with unprotected sex. This includes the risk of catching and spreading sexually transmitted diseases including AIDS as well as helping to prevent unintended pregnancies.
Adapted from http://www.nationalcondomweek.com/
I was watching a show on Oprah Winfrey’s network (OWN), I believe it may have been called “Our America with Lisa Ling.” The topic of the show was older people with a segment on speed dating and sex after 65. At first, I must admit I thought it was adorable and found myself hoping to be dating and still having sex when I’m 65. However, upon further thought I realized 65 is not that old. My mother is in her 60’s and I’m pretty sure she’s still getting it on a regular basis.
Like many people, I don’t enjoy thinking about my mother’s sex life. But if I’m honest, I may start looking at older people a little differently. While I’m not going to develop an elderly fetish and be a gerontophile, I may entertain the thought of being an eagle scout (BTW, there are quite a few terms to describe a younger woman who dates older men – google it and see). How big of an age gap is required to be an eagle scout? Does Beyonce qualify?
If you’ve ever considered sex with an older man it may be worth trying. Granted there may be a need for a Viagra or Cialis prescription for penetrational sex with some older men. Unfortunately, as men age their ability to become fully erect gets harder (pun so intended). The good side is that they also tend to focus more on pleasing their partner. Older men have likely also mastered the fine art of ejaculatory control for longer lasting sex.
I don’t want to leave sex with older women out. If you’re a cub on the prowl for a cougar or lioness, keep a bottle of good lube nearby. Spit doesn’t count, though a little oral sex may be appreciated. The best thing about sex with an older woman may be that she likely knows what feels good to her and in all probability is not afraid to ask for it. The latter is a lesson that women of all ages can benefit from.
Although sex with an older woman has the added benefit of not worrying about unintended pregnancy, there is still a risk of contracting a sexually transmissible disease. This is true of sex with older men as well. Condoms and dental dams are an easy fix. For more information on sex after 65, check out Senior Site’s, Sex After Sixty page. If given the opportunity to have sex with an older person you may just find that elder sex can be super hot! Until next Saturday.
Keep it Safe and Sexy,
Robin, the Sex Goddess
Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.
Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone only to have sex with them and be disappointed? A friend of mine is in this very situation and asked for a little advice. Hmm, this is kinda of tricky. You can do one of two things, both would be best:
If you’ve taken a class with me or have been in any of my workshops you know that I believe “communication is lubrication.” If you were left less than satisfied after your first experience with your new partner let them know what they can be doing to make it better the next time. Assuming – of course – there will be a next time. If you care about your partner and want to see where things can go this could be a great opportunity to see how your partner responds when challenged.
Be open with your partner about what you enjoy during sex. How do they know if you haven’t told them? Ask them what they enjoy. I’m sure you were doing your thing, but what if your thing wasn’t their thing? Ask them if the two of you can try some of the things you talk about the next time you have sex.
My second piece of advice is to take control of the situation. When you start to get that unsatisfied feeling that’s when you know you need to take over. If you know what feels good to you, start doing it. Your partner will probably like this. If you’re female, you can stimulate your clit while your being penetrated vaginally or anally. If you’re male you can rub your scrotum during sex and put pressure on the smooth area just behind there. This will indirectly stimulate your prostate, which can be very pleasurable. Whatever your signature move is put it on your partner. But you have to be careful with this advice though as it can backfire. You can put it down so good that your partner just simply can’t take it.
Until next Saturday,
Keep It Safe and Sexy,
Robin, the Sex Goddess