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Vaginal Debut Concerns: Will it Hurt?

Posted on Saturday, March 16, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays, Women's health

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoAs promised in the Sexy Saturday’s article, I’m going to address a few common concerns and expectations associated with sexual debuts involving vaginal penetration. I’ll cover anal and oral penetration debuts next Saturday. Let’s get right to it.

With regard to vaginal penetration, most females have both a concern about and an expectation of pain, I know I did. Having a penis or phallic object penetrate your vagina for the first time can hurt a bit. However, for most women it is not as painful as we make it out to be in our head. You can reduce pain and discomfort associated with vaginal penetration by preparing in advance with a hymen massage.  If you have an intact hymen (layer of skin covering the vaginal opening – not all women have one), you or your partner can gently massage your hymen. This will help prepare the hymen for penetration.  Additionally, inserting 1 or more fingers into your vagina will gradually dilate your vaginal opening. This will give you a sense of what it feels like to be penetrated.  

When the time comes for you to have your vaginal penetration debut with a penis or phallus I suggest beginning with kissing and foreplay. Foreplay will help turn you on which and naturally lubricate your vagina AKA getting “wet”. The type and amount of foreplay will vary by partner. Foreplay may be a perfect time for you and your partner to try hymen massage again. When you’re ready to try being penetrated add a few drops of lube to your partner’s safely and properly protected penis or phallus then take a fewvaginal debut concern deep breaths to help you relax. If you’re able to do so, time the initial insertion with exhaling. Continue to breathe deeply until your breathing finds its natural rhythm.

The second most common concern that I hear from females is whether or not they will bleed.  If so, how much? For females with intact hymens at the time of initial debut, a small amount of blood may be present during intercourse. While the amount of blood varies from female to female, let me assure you there will not be so much blood that your sheets will be mistaken for a crime scene.

Although, many people have an expectation of having an orgasm the first time they’re penetrated, this is not likely. This part may or may not be good news: for those who are less sexually experienced, the average duration of sexual intercourse is less than 5 minutes. It generally takes penetration for a longer period of time as well as clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm. As you become more experienced sex will last longer and become more pleasurable. Interestingly, research has shown that making love tends to last a little longer as well as be more passionate and pleasurable.

I’ve only addressed a few concerns and expectations that a female may have with experiencing her vaginal intercourse debut. If you have additional concerns, you can email them to me and I’ll address them here for you. While I’m a great resource, the best advice I can give you is to openly and honestly communicate any concerns and expectations you have with your partner. Your partner may have similar concerns or be able to put you at ease about yours.

Until next Saturday: Keep It Safe ‘n Sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Bring on the comments

  1. Observant says:

    I just have one comment. Is there research to support the 5 min duration? If so, I think they left my generation out of the survey. lol

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