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From Topless Dancer to Sex Educator

Posted on Saturday, May 11, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoOver the past few weeks, I’ve been asked several times how I got into the field of sex ed. So, I’m writing this Sexy Saturday article on why I became a sexual health educator so the next time I’m asked this question I can simply direct folks here for the answer.  Generally when I’m asked this question I make a quick decision as to whether I’m going to answer with the full truth or the cleaner, simpler version.  For now, you’ll get the truncated version.  

When I was in the second grade my Auntie Vette was a topless dancer at the Dancin’ Sunshine. I thought she was the coolest person with the best job ever! She would let me help put liquid latex on her nipples and take it off later. To me that was like putting glue in your hand and pulling it off like skin after it dries. Even cooler than applying latex to her nipples were her costumes. My aunt had the shiniest, most colorful and glamorous costumes and shoes I’d ever seen. She would pay me $20 to put her costumes in the washer and another $20 to put them in the dryer. I like dancing, money, and sexy bikinis so Iss 19 pasties thought she had the perfect job!

When my second grade teacher asked the class what we wanted to be when we grew up, I proudly exclaimed that I wanted to be a “titty dancer.” Needless to say that prompted a phone call to my mother.  That evening my mother patiently explained to me that being a topless dancer was not the best goal to aspire to and I needed to come up with something better to want to be in life. I settled on being a “pee-pee” doctor. To avoid another embarrassing phone call from the school my mom did some research and found out the correct term was a urologist. For the next 8 years or so, I conducted my own unethical, less than scientific experiments on penis size in relation to other body parts.

In high school I took my first psychology class. As I learned more about the field of psychology and the important role that our psyche plays in sex and sexuality I was intrigued. That was also around the time I learned that urologists mostly saw sick and unhealthy penises. What teenage girl wants to see a sick penis? I decided to give up my dream of being a urologist and focus on being a sex therapist instead. Sex therapy was rather appealing. I would have the ability to help frame the way others think about sex and get paid well to do it. With this in mind, I pursued a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Mills College.

My senior year at Mills one of my roommates was struggling with a class that I had taken and aced. Naturally, she asked me to tutor her in the class. I taught her the class material using her interests so the concepts would resonate more. A second roommate observed these tutoring sessions and commented that I’d make a good educator. I laughed it off at the time because I was on my way to being a world renowned sex therapist and educators weren’t making any money – unfortunately that last part hasn’t changed. Luckily for me and the young folks I work with – I did change. 

After graduating with my bachelor’s degree I started to think more seriously about what it meant to be a sex therapist. At the time the majority of sex therapy clients were there as a result of a court order. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I could ss19 sex ednever be objective with court ordered clients accused of rape.  However, my desire to shape the way people thought about sex never waivered. Overtime, the seed of being an educator was growing as it was watered with more mature thoughts. By the time I learned of the masters program in human sexuality studies at San Francisco State University, I was clear that I wanted to be a sex educator. To me, there is no more powerful position on earth than being an educator. By shaping the way our young people think about and approach sex and sexual health, I believe that I am doing my part to make the world a better and more accepting place for my daughter and others who will come after me.  Although being an educator can be thankless at times, knowing that I am making a positive difference in the lives of youth and women makes the low pay and long hours worth it. Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe ‘n sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Bring on the comments

  1. Auntie Vette says:

    Little did I know that trying to earn extra money as a dancer would inspire you to become an educator. I wonder what I inspired the customers to become. Just joking. I am proud of you and the person you have become. I love you.

  2. MOM says:

    I remember your elementary school goals and this article just brought a huge smile to my face. I must confess that even though my desire was for you to become a Clinical Psychologist, you persistent in becoming a sex educator has its rewards. I finally understand that if one is happy in their profession, it has its own rewards!!!

  3. Observant One says:

    Thanks for being so open with your readers. The moral of this blog is :Follow your heart”.

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