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Comfortable in Your Own Body

Posted on Saturday, August 31, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoWhen I was pregnant I knew that I was having a daughter yet wouldn’t tell others because I don’t like the color pink and didn’t want my daughter to be covered in it. During my pregnancy I made it to clear to my mother and midwife that if my child was born with ambiguous genitals that her genitals were not to be surgically corrected but rather to be left alone until my child gets old enough to decide the correct course of action to take, if any, with regard to the appearance of her genitals. Understandably, being transgender is not the same as being intersex or having ambiguous genitals. However, it is important for everyone to feel comfortable in their own body and skin.

More often than not, parents and society make decisions for young people that may be harmful to that person’s mental, emotional, and sometimes physical and sexual development. Some of these decisions are made while babies are still in the uterus. For example, after learning the sex of their baby several parents will purchase pink clothes for girls and blue clothes for boys, effectively gendering their child. Gendering of children continues as they grow older with boys being given trucks and action figures to play with while girls are encouraged to play with dolls and miniature kitchens. I’m calling BS on the gendering of children.

My daughter wears both boy and girl clothes, plays with whatever toys she’d like with the exception of guns because I don’t want to encourage violence.  She enjoys trucks and building structures out of blocks, sand, or whatever she finds around the house.  Like a lot of young girls, my daughter likes the color pink – against my desires – but her favorite color is the gender neutral yellow.

My daughter is almost 3 and is reaching the point where she understands gender a little better. Sometimes she tells me she’s a boy, but more often says she is a girl.  By the time my transgenderdaughter enters kindergarten she will have a clear understanding of what gender she identifies as. Given her love for skirts and frilly girly things, I imagine my daughter is cisgendered – meaning that she likely identifies as a female in accordance with her biological sex. However, if for any reason she is transgender and identifies as a boy, that’s just fine with me. I want my daughter to be as comfortable in her body as possible. Furthermore, I want my child to know that as her mother I support whomever she is 100%.  I would respect her identity and would expect other people to do the same.

As such, you can imagine my excitement when Governor Jerry Brown recently signed a bill in support of school age transgender youth. This bill allows transgender students to choose which restroom to use in school. The bill also allows transgender students to play sports that have been traditionally segregated based on biological sex. I think this is a great start to transgender people being accepted as who they are and not who society or their parents think they should be. Many young people can tell you what gender they identify as by the age of 4. If you have a school-age child in your life who has a vagina yet identifies as a boy, that child is likely transgender and should be respected as such.  It’s hard enough growing up, period. Who needs the added stress of having their gender questioned by others? Until next Saturday…

Keep It Safe ‘n Sexy,

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess


Bring on the comments

  1. Observant says:

    I totally agree. I read an article several years ago in which a doctor had made a decision to remove the penis of a newborn and created a vagina. To condense this story, it wasn’t until she was a teenager and thoughts of being a lesbian did the truth come out. The mother stated she wouldn’t have approved of the surgery if given a choice.


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