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Is It Love or Hormones?

Posted on Saturday, October 26, 2013 in News Release, Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoWelcome to another Sexy Saturday! Picture this: You met someone and ended up hooking up with them. The sex was good, you had a great time and you agreed to see this person again. Same thing happens. Next thing you know you’re regular sex buddies. Before long you think you may be falling in love with your sex partner and want more than a casual hook up.

Not too long ago this very thing happened to a friend of mine. She asked me why she keeps falling in love with the guys she sleeps with. More recently, my female students in San Ramon have been asking similar questions. The answer is as much biological as it is social and physical. When we have sex we release hormones throughout the sexual experience. One of those hormones is oxytocin. This hormone is more commonly produced by females during orgasm as well as during and after child-birth. Oxytocin is believed to make people want to bond. The impact oflove or hormones 1 oxytocin on bonding and attachment has been so well documented that some researchers refer to it as the “cuddle hormone”. Basically, the more you have sex with a person the more attached you’ll become.

As you become more attached to a person you may want to spend more time with them. This is likely to result in you feeling more familiar with the person. Researchers have identified familiarity as also being important when it comes to falling in love. The more comfortable and familiar you become with your sex partner you may want to spend even more time with them. You can thank the hormone vasopressin for that. Vasopressin is a hormone released during orgasm that is associated with long-term commitments. So we’re clear, during sex and orgasm women release a combination of hormones that make us want to be closer to people over an extended period of time.   In answer to my friend and students question – if you couple the biological factors (hormones) with the more social factor  and experience of being familiar with someone it makes perfect sense that you may develop feelings for or even fall in love with someone who you have sex with on a repeated or regular basis. Of course there are other factors such as similarity, attraction and understanding that are important with regard to falling in love.

The follow-up question with my hetero friend was “why doesn’t the same thing happen to guys?” Guys also release hormones during sex. However, the main hormone released for men is dopamine. Dopamine is associated with pleasure. No further explanation needed! I’m just playing. As men continue to have sex with the same partner it is likely that over a period of time feelings will also be developed. Keep in mind that it may not happen at your desired time, if ever. Okay, dear friend and students, I hope this answered your question. Until next Saturday…

Keep it Safe and Sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

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