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Keepin’ It Safe and Sexy in February: A dedication to Black men

Posted on Saturday, February 1, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoIt’s February! This month is jam-packed with National condom Month/Week/Day, Valentine’s Day, and Presidents ’ Day, Singles Awareness Day, Black History Month, and more all in one! With so much going on, this month is a lot like me – short and busy! Given the focuses of the month – I am dedicating this article to Black men and to the women and men who love having sex with them.

Though I love me some Black men, as a Black woman and sexologist, I am always intrigued when I have an opportunity to observe grown Black men put condoms on incorrectly, especially the one’s who have children. I’ve observed this in workshop settings as well as during personal encounters. There’s nothing more unsexy than a grown man who cannot put condoms on. To prevent future laughable experiences here’s a few suggestions:

  1. Have your preferred condom easily accessible. It’s a good idea to try on different condom sizes, materials, and textures in advance so you know you’ll have a comfortable fitting condom for your sexy experience. For the record, not all Black men need or should use Magnum condoms. I’m just saying…
  2. Tell your partner what you’d like to do with them or have done to you using said condom. After getting or giving consent you’re ready to move on.
  3. Check the expiration date on the package of the condom. Most people don’t drink spoiled milk, using the same logic; you should not use an expired condom.
  4. Pillow test the package by placing it between your pointer finger and thumb. Gently squeeze the package making sure there’s air in the package. If there is no air get a new condom as that one has been compromised and may have rips and tears. wpid-CAM00996.jpg
  5. Slide the condom to one side of the package and carefully open the package using both hands NOT your teeth.
  6. Remove the condom from the package and sit it on your finger. With the condom on your finger try to unroll it approximately .5 inch. If it unrolls, you’re good to go on to the next step. If it doesn’t unroll, flip the condom over so that it does. Until you can visually determine the correct way to unroll a condom, it is important that you do not unroll the condom directly onto a penis as it may have started to pre-ejaculate. Pre-ejaculatory fluid or pre-cum, may have sperm or microorganism that may cause sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
  7. Remove the condom from your finger and flip it over so that the tip is pointing down. Put 1-2 drops of water based or silicone based lube in the tip of the condom. Doing this will increase sensations for you. That’s right, you’ll feel more. More than 1-2 drops may cause the condom to slip off during the experience.
  8. With the lube in the tip, pinch the tip of the condom and roll it onto an erect penis. This step is crucial as the tip is where ejaculate will be captured. If there’s no room in the tip the ejaculate may burst right through the condom.
  9. Put as much water or silicone based lube as you’d like on the outside of the condom. This will increase sensations for you and your partner as well as increase the durability of your condom making it less likely to break.
  10. Enjoy sex.
  11. After ejaculating, before you go limp, pull out of whatever orifice you were lucky enough to penetrate. Be sure to hold the condom while removing it from the hole.
  12. Remove the condom from the penis and tie it in a knot. Run the used and knotted condom through your fingers to check for any leaks or breakage that may have happened during the experience.
  13. If there are no rips and tears, wrap the used condom in tissue and throw it in the garbage. If there are rips you and your partner should get tested for STIs in about 2 weeks. If your partner was female, she should consider taking the morning after pill within the next 72-120 hours.
  14. Thank your partner for a safer and sexy experience.

While this article is dedicated to Black men, the information is great for men and women of all races/ethnicities, cultures, and sexual orientations. In other words, if you’re having sex, this information applies to you. Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

 

Bring on the comments

  1. observant says:

    And remove the obstacle of being someone’s baby daddy until you are ready.

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