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Jul 5

Self-Care is Key to Maintaining Good Sexual Health and Wellness

Posted on Saturday, July 5, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoI certainly hope you’re feeling dandy on this super sexy Saturday!  Practicing self-care is a great way to maintain that feeling. People often speak of practicing self-care, but what is it? Let’s say you have an important final tomorrow. It would be good self-care to get a good night’s sleep and eat a healthy breakfast to ensure optimal brain function and performance during the final. Self-care can be thought of as things you can do to promote and maintain our own health and wellness. “Self-care” and “health and wellness” have been buzz words for the past few years. However, less often we speak about sexual self-care; yet, this is an important aspect of general self-care. When I say sexual self-care, I mean taking active measures to ensure your sexual health and wellness is on point.

Though there are multiple reasons to maintain good sexual health and wellness, two simple but important ones immediately come to mind. The first reason is that you want your goods to work when it comes time to use it. Your sexual health can impact your overall health and wellness. For example, if you get an STI, you may have negative thoughts and feelings about it. Such negative thoughts and feelings could lead to sadness and possible depression.  The second reason that comes to mind is that one day you may meet someone with whom you’d like to have a child. If you are in good sexual health, it will likely be much easier to conceive children.

Good sexual health and wellness is the goal, self-care is how we get there. With this in mind, there are many things you can do to practice sexual self-care. To some these things may be more obvious than to others. I’m not just talking about masturbating, either. Though, that is a pretty solid suggestion for sexual self-care. To be sure that we’re all on the same page I propose the following as a good starting point to maintaining good sexual health and wellness:

  1. ss sexual self carePractice open and honest communication with your sexual partners. This includes specifically asking for what you want and saying no to things you don’t want. The latter can be hard to do. This is a good time to remember the wise words of Maggie Kuhn, who said “speak your mind even if your voice shakes.” It is generally a good idea to listen to your gut. While it may be a little uncomfortable at first you’ll likely find that communicating your sexual desires to your partners can be a very sexy experience.
  2. Use protection each time you engage in sexual activity. This may mean something different depending on the types of sex you may be having. For oral experiences this may mean using a flavored condom or dental dam, while for penetrative experiences it may mean using traditional or insertive condoms. With this in mind think of the sexual experiences you enjoy then educate yourself on ways to practice safer sex. Carry your preferred safer sex method whenever there’s a chance you may get some.
  3. Get regular sexual health check-ups and testing. Your primary care doctor or local family planning clinic can help you determine how often you should have a physical examination of your external genitals and internal reproductive parts. These types of exams may or may not include testing for common sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Therefore, it is a good idea to also get tested for STIs regularly if you are sexually active.
  4. Know when to say no. While sexual experiences can be fantastic, there are also a few times that having sex may not be the best idea with regard to health and wellness. For example, if there’s a good chance that having sex may have a negative emotional impact on you, your partner, or someone you care for strongly (e.g., sibling, best-friend, etc.) it is likely in your best interest to say no.  Another great example is if you don’t have safer sex supplies and/or are unsure of your partners STI status, it is better to get blue balls or blue clit than to put yourself at risk. If you find yourself in this last situation, it may be a great time to limit yourself to a PG-13 make out session and get some practice kissing.

There you have it! A few quick and simple ways to practice self-care to help maintain good sexual health and wellness. Whew, that was a mouthful! Pun may be intended. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Jun 29

International Kissing Day

Posted on Sunday, June 29, 2014 in UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoDid you know there was a day dedicated to enjoying the pleasure of a kiss? July 6th is International Kissing Day! International kissing day started in the United Kingdom and since spread throughout the world to become known as World Kissing Day to some.

One of my most memorable kisses happened when I was 17 years old. I went on a date with a guy who used to send letters to me through my cousin. At the end of our date he asked if he could kiss me. I hesitantly consented – I’d had a good time and was not sure if a kiss would somehow lessen the experience – and I was glad I did. My date gently put his hands around my waist, pulled me into him and softly kissed my forehead. It was the sweetest kiss I’d ever had. I was smitten and we dated for the next several years.

It’s true when they say there’s a lot in a kiss. You may realize that you have great chemistry with someone you’ve known forever, yet never thought of in a romantic or sexual way, by simply kissing them. You just may discover that your friend is beasty and just what you need. Or it may be that you think you’re attracted to someone until you kiss them and you feel about as much as you would had you been kissing a fish. Either way, a kiss can tell you a lot about how you feel about someone.

In its most basic form kissing is the act of pressing your lips to someone else’s body, often times on the lips as well. Notice I did not say which lips as both are certainly kissable. That’s one of the best things about a kiss; it can be planted anywhere on the body with enthusiastic consent, of course. Though there are many different types of kisses they tend to fall into 1 of 2 categories:

ss intl kissing day1)      The often simple, closed mouth kiss. Can be done on any part of the body. May signify different things depending on where you plant this type of kiss. It can be an innocent peck on the cheek, a sweet kiss on the forehead, or a gentle and sensual kiss on the lips. In some cultures, people greet one another with a simple kiss on the cheek.

2)      The more involved, open mouth kiss. Often done on the mouth, genitals, or anus, yet may be done on any part of the body as well. However, when done on the mouth there may be an exchange of saliva. This type of kiss is commonly referred to as French, TV, or tongue kissing. Other fun names include swapping spit, tongue tango or wrestling. These kinds of kisses may be deeply passionate, just for fun, or somewhere in between.

Kissing is a nice way to show love and affection. It can be a prelude to something more. Kissing can be done to enhance sexual experiences. Kissing is a great way to build and maintain intimacy in romantic and sexual relationships. When you kiss someone, regardless of whom it is you are sending a message that you trust them to a certain extent. You trust them enough to allow them into your personal space during a time that you are likely to have your guard down. Wow, that says a lot!

If there’s a special someone you’ve been hoping and wanting to kiss, International Kissing Day is the perfect excuse to push yourself to do it, with consent, of course. Here are 5 sweet tips for your next kissing debut:

  1. Think positive and plan ahead by using some sort of lip moisturizer. This will help to ensure that your lips are not chapped and cracked when the time comes.
  2. If you’re going for an open mouth kiss, it’s a good idea to make sure your breath is fresh. The person you’re kissing will likely appreciate it.
  3. Take a sip of something, preferably water, to wet your mouth and tongue. There’s nothing worse than getting dry mouth just before the first kiss.
  4. When that moment finally does come relax yourself and your lips before pursing them. You want your lips to be soft when they touch your partner.
  5. Do what feels natural as far as closing your eyes or keeping them open. You’d be amazed how often I’m actually asked about this.

Keep in mind that hugs go great with kisses and both are free! I can’t forget to mention that kissing feels fantastic! Happy kissing. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Jun 25

UC Berkeley Students Respond to Catholic Parents Guide to Sex Ed

Posted on Wednesday, June 25, 2014 in UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoI’ve mentioned a time or two that I am on a sex ed exhibit committee at UC Berkeley. Myself and a handful of library professionals are planning an awesome exhibition on the history of sex (mis)education in the United States. While collecting items for the exhibition we came across A Catholic Parent’s Guide to Sex Education (Guide) by Dr. Audrey Kelly. The Guide was published in 1962 a time when views of sex, sexuality, and women’s rights were beginning to be viewed through a lens of free love and reproductive freedom for women.  Even for today, this Guide was comprehensive covering what parents should tell their children about puberty and coming of age issues, dating, relationships, sex at various ages including sex for early and late starters, and marriage.

One of my fellow committee members was thumbing through the book for images – which there are none – when she noticed that students had gotten rather engaged with the text in the form of marginations. “Margination” is the term librarians use to describe writing in the margins of books. Who knew there was an actual term for that?…With so much margination my colleague could not help but read a few aloud to us. I found this to be super interesting. Call me a nosy nerd, but the fact that students felt so compelled to respond to this book and so often peaked my interest. I had to know what else was being said and in response to what.

I borrowed the book to satisfy my curiosity.  I found writings in the margins of several pages. They start on the very first page. Even on the last page of the book, which isn’t even a full page, there were comments. Only in the glossary and index do the comments cease. All in all there are a total of 43 comments made in the margins.  Most of the comments are made in response to sexist or heteronormative content in the book. In addition to commenting students also wrote questions to the author, other readers, and even to themselves which they answered, interestingly.  I counted a total of 10 questions. Though I am not a hand-writing expert, there appears to be at least 4 different students who respond.

My favorite comment comes on the opening page of the book where one student writes “[t]his is one of the most self contradictory, hypocritical, sexist, fucked up and misinforming, distorted books I’ve EVER read – barring some Moonie material perhaps.” This particular student wanted to be sure that each and every person who so much as opened this book was aware of their opinion on this book. While a bit harsh this comment captures the essence of all the other comments in the book.

Catholic guide marginationsMy second favorite side comment was made in regards to something the author wrote about women when attempting to explain how best to raise young men. In the “Late Adolescence” chapter Dr. Kelly, writes “[b]oys, firstly, should be taught to regard women as the weaker sex; despite their many protestations of equality…” to which someone responded in the margins “you aint heard nuthin’ yet.”  I love it! I will reserve my initial comments as they are clearly inappropriate.

One of my other favorite comments was made by a student who discloses via side comments that he or she was a late starter and did not experience a sexual debut until their early 20s. In the chapter “For Late Starters,” the author discusses how embarrassing it can be for a child to receive “instruction upon sexual matters” at a later age.  Apparently the student was in agreement with the author on this and commented “that’s what my stupid mother did.” I fell out laughing! This chapter comes near the end of the book and after reading all of the comments in the book, I just couldn’t help but laugh when I got to this one as I felt I had gotten to know that particular student commented fairly well.

For a book that has been checked out 31 times from May 27, 1963 through April 9, 2003, 43 side comments or “marginations” seem to be a lot.  No other book that we have come across seems to be have elicited as much call and response from the readers. Such comments speak to UC Berkeley students’ acceptance and support of equal rights for men, women, transgender folks, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and heterosexuals. It is more interesting to me that all of these comments were being made years before same-sex marriage was legalized in CA. I wish I knew exactly when the comments were made and by whom. I imagine those early students who felt compelled to respond were likely among those who gave this campus the image and reputation of being a place where you are accepted for who you are regardless of your beliefs.

This PRIDE season, if you are looking for a good laugh and interesting read consider checking out The Catholic Parent’s Guide to Sex Education, oh wait, we have it checked out until April for the sex ed exhibition. Guess you’ll have to come to the exhibition or wait until April to laugh your butt off at the content and comments. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Jun 24

Betrayed by Your Penis

Posted on Tuesday, June 24, 2014 in News Release

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoI’ve completed one full year of health and wellness coaching appointments as of this month! Congratulations to me. However, in light of June being Men’s Health Awareness Month – this article is about the most common sexual health related issue that young men have come to see me about: Erectile Dysfunction, or ED. More often than not young men come to my office reporting some sort of difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection to ejaculation or orgasm.

When I get a little deeper into the conversation with students who come to see me for erection concerns they are often embarrassed and think they are the only person on campus experiencing difficulty achieving erections. Rest assured you are not alone! According to the National Institutes of Health, approximately 5% of all erectile dysfunction cases are in young men ages 20 -39. Shocking, right?

You would think ED is something that only happened to older men, certainly not young college men. However, regardless of age if your sexual response cycle is interrupted it may result in a flaccid or soft penis. There are 3 things – or steps if you will – that must happen for a man to achieve and maintain an erection through orgasm and ejaculation. The first step is sexual desire. Do you have the desire to be sexual? Let’s assume that many of the young men at UC Berkeley do possess such desire. When sexual desire is present and something arouses that desire it needs to be communicated. As such, the brain communicates your sexual desire to your genitals. This communication step will activate an increase in the flow of blood to the penis. Lastly, blood vessels in the penis have to relax to allow the excess blood to flow in causing an erection. Anything that interrupts this cycle may cause your penis not to become erect.

While some issues of ED are due to a medical reason some of the more common factors interrupting the sexual response cycle in my experience with students at UC Berkeley include:

  • Stress (academic, personal, and future) – stress often has a negative impact on many areas of health – sex drive and function included. As you may be aware, UC Berkeley is a rather challenging and competitive academic institution. It makes perfect sense that your penis may not want to get and stay hard when you’ve got a big exam to study for.
  • Mixed or ambiguous messages about relationships, sex, and/or intimacy during childhood – Many of the students I meet often disclose some sort of difficulty reconciling messages regarding when to have and with whom it is okay to have sex received from multiple and varied sources. Parents tend to have a very different message than friends, peers, or what is shown in the media.  For example, if your parents raised you to believe that sex should only happen within the context of marriage or a committed relationship, it may be hard (no pun intended) to achieve an erection with someone you do not have any feelings for.  Students describe this to me as being betrayed by their bodies.
  • Alcohol – alcohol tends to be a recurring factor. Though young people use alcohol to help navigate social interactions, it is actually a depressant. Think of it this way, too much alcohol and your penis may get depressed so to speak…

What can you do if you are a young male experiencing difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection? Try masturbating. If you are able to achieve and maintain an erection to orgasm or ejaculation your penis issue is likely mental and not medical. You just have to find out what is making your penis a little shy then give it a confidence booster.  Here are 5 quick suggestions:

  1. If you find that you are able to get hard to masturbate try simulating the same rhythm and motion with your partner.
  2. Consider adding fantasy to your sexual tool box. Fantasies help stimulate sexual arousal. The good thing about fantasies is no one knows you’re doing it or what you’re fantasizing about.
  3. Only have sex when you are ready to do so AND with someone you feel comfortable with. Insane, I know! You do NOT have to have sex just because you think other people are.  Sex within the context of a healthy relationship or with someone you care for is likely to increase the likelihood of your penis getting hard when you want it to. This is due in large part to communication within the context of relationships and friendships.
  4. Give yourself permission NOT to have sexual intercourse, but rather to have a good enjoyable time with others.  This will help eliminate pressure to perform sexually. There are many other intimate experiences you can have such as a PG-13 or NC17 make-out session, or exploring your partner’s body with your mouth or hands, for example.  If sex does happen, well you got even more lucky! This tip is especially helpful during periods of high stress that may increase the likelihood of your penis not becoming erect when you want it to.
  5. Don’t have sex under the influence of alcohol. Doing this will allow you to experience every pleasurable sensation while increasing the chance that your penis will get and remain erect.

If you are a UC Berkeley student and would like more tips and suggestions for increasing the chances that your penis will get hard when you’re ready for sex, feel free to schedule a health and wellness coaching appointment at the Tang Center. If you are not a UC Berkeley student feel free to email me for additional tips and suggestions. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Jun 10

Rape Aggression Defense (RAD) Instructor Training: Sex Goddess Experience

Posted on Tuesday, June 10, 2014 in News Release

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoI just recently completed Rape Aggression Defense (RAD) Instructor Training! The experience was amazing though also thrilling and terrifying at times. RAD is basic physical defense for women. After completing this training, I think all women should consider taking the RADs basic physical defense training. Don’t let the word “basic” in the title fool you – this training is educational and incredibly empowering.

RAD is an internationally respected program and is the only self-defense program endorsed by the International Association of Law Enforcement Administrators (IACLEA).  In an effort to protect the intellectual property of RAD Systems as well as not to disclose options to a would-be rapist, I am going to focus more on my experience rather than the specifics of the RAD Systems program.

RAD Instructor training was an overall amazing experience.  I was in a co-ed class of approximately 15 people. While the focus of RAD systems is on self-defense options for women, there are some male identified instructors. There were several awesome men in my RAD Instructor cohort. The other lovely people in the cohort come from all walks of life including UC Berkeley students, staff, community members and campus police from various UC and CSU campuses.

Robin in RAD simulation gear

Ms. Robin Sex Goddess in simulation gear

At one point in the training, we went through simulation. Simulation was both thrilling and terrifying. Going into simulation I was scared, I’m not going to lie. As such, I volunteered to be one of the first few people to go – I wanted to get it over with. As my name was called each time I would feel nervous and anxious. Therefore I set my fight or flight response to “fight” regardless of the situation.

It did not help that just prior to simulation I had been practicing with an awesome young woman. Unfortunately for me she was a rugby-player and nearly twice my size. I was not very successful in early attempts to defend myself against her.  That kind of played with my mind.

Following simulation I felt empowered and with all that adrenaline rushing, I wanted to do it again…That was until they had us watch the simulation video the next day.  Although I was only watching, the feelings I had felt before simulation came rushing back. Only this time they were more overwhelming. Watching myself in various situations was just as terrifying, even though I knew I was going to get away. I found myself fighting back tears while watching the simulation video. Simulation for the men was simply terrifying and empowering – even to observe. That’s all I have to say about that.

RAD logoThis intense training took place over 30 hours in a 3-day time period. Each day was long and physically challenging. Though my body was sore for the next 2 days, RAD Instructor training was so worth it! As a certified RAD instructor I am charged with the objective “to develop and enhance the options of self defense, so they may become viable considerations to the woman who is attacked” (Lawrence Nadeau, RAD Systems Founder). I can’t imagine a better instructional objective. I’m glad to be joining a group of awesome RAD Instructors on the UC Berkeley campus as well as to possibly offer these classes to young women in Richmond! Not only did I gain new skills that may save a woman’s life one day – maybe even my own- I gained awesome new colleagues to add to my network as well as a few friends. Until next time…

 

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

 

May 31

Sexy Summer Fling? Check

Posted on Saturday, May 31, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoIt’s summertime! School is out – or will be soon for some of you – and you’re gone for the summer.  One bright, sunny day as you are relaxing and drinking a cold iced-tea you see someone and instantly you’re thinking about what you’d like to do her/him and have done to you…consensually, of course! The object of your attention notices you too. As they walk closer to you the fantasies becomes more vivid. Yes, you can see it in their eyes. He/she wants you and you want them too. The two of you exchange a look that says “it’s on.” You stand as if to answer their unspoken invitation to…do what? You’ve never been the person to make the first move. You’re not quite sure what to do so you introduce yourself. Make some small talk about how the semester was for you. You tell a rather corny joke just to compliment the person as they smile and laugh. Wanting to end this first encounter with a positive impression, you exchange numbers and gently kiss them on the cheek before you leave.

As you walk away the fantasy builds. Your body is starting to respond to the fantasies. Just your luck you are distracted by your phone ringing. It’s him/her. They want to see you. You want to see them, too. You make plans to meet for smoothies later. As you prepare to meet this person later, you make sure you have everything you’ll need for a successful night: ID. Check. Money. Check. Phone. Check. Condoms. Check. Wet wipes – things may get messy. Check.

ss summer flingYou reach the agreed upon destination and the two of you have great chemistry! You tell them how good their lips look and how much better they probably taste. Your date puckers and says “you have my permission to find out.” You kiss them again, but not on the cheek this time. You feel the electricity between the two of you. Like earlier you begin to fantasize about how great you want this person to make you feel. However, this is only the first date and it’s going to be a long summer. One thing is for sure, you want to have a hot summer fling with your new friend!

Maybe it doesn’t happen like that. Yet, the brief NC-17 fantasy scene above has some good tips for anyone hoping to have a hot summer fling:

  1. Go for what you want. Maybe you are not normally the person to approach someone you find attractive. Just for the summer, push yourself to do something just outside of your comfort zone. It’s only for the summer. Start simple by just saying hi and introducing yourself. Follow that with a bit of small talk. End the conversation on a good note and your new friend will think positively of you when you call to schedule the first date. You just may surprise yourself and find that you’ve got game!
  2.  Practice safer sex. As you prepare for your dates be sure to pack safer sex supplies. You want to have protection easily accessible so that you can safely do all the sexy things you and your new friend enthusiastically consent to. 
  3. Keep realistic expectations. In the above scenario, it ends with the person realizing that all they want is a summer fling – not to fall in love and be with the person forever. A summer fling is meant to be short and temporary. The best way to facilitate that without getting hurt emotionally is to go into with realistic expectations. In other words, try not to get too attached. Keep it light, fun, and safe while enjoy every inch of each other for the summer. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

 

May 28

Dying to Love

Posted on Wednesday, May 28, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoBy now I’m sure you’ve heard about, seen news coverage, or somehow  learned of the young woman who was publicly stoned to death for getting married. Many of you may be thinking, WTF!?! You are not alone. A 25-year old, Pakistan woman was stoned to death by her father and other family members – get this – in front of a courthouse! No lie; I’ve added a link at the bottom for you to check it out yourself.  The father is proud that his daughter is dead because by following her heart she somehow dishonored the family.

It would seem to me that there is more honor in denouncing your arranged marriage  and marrying the man you love. I’m just saying. Don’t get me wrong – I am not against arranged marriages. However, I fully support a woman’s right to make her own decision regarding who she will marry – whether arranged, or for money or love. We are not the one’s who have to live with the decision so why should we have a say in it?

As a Sexologist, I’ve studied the sexual practices and norms of quite a few cultures other than my own. While I don’t believe in yucking other people’s yum’s I am not okay with so-called “honor killing”. honour-killing1Where is the honor in being so close-minded that you would kill your OWN child or loved-one because she dared to marry the man she loved? I certainly am unable to see it.  If you believe that your daughter or family member has brought dishonor to the family – okay. A more appropriate response may be to yell at your daughter or maybe disown her if the family feels the offense was that horrible – just don’t kill her! For a culture so concerned with honor, I’m left wondering how murdering your daughter helps to restore the family honor. Though I see through a different lens, it seems to me  that you would bring more dishonor to your family for committing murder and leaving the family without a male leader. Furthermore, does it not dishonor your daughter or family member to kill them? I’m confused. I’m just saying.

Although this story is tragic, there is something to be honored in this story – that a young woman was lucky enough to meet someone and fall in love and have that person love her back. That is no easy feat I tell you. There are many women – old and young – that are still waiting to meet their Mr./Mrs. Right – myself included. Unfortunately, I keep meeting Mr. Right Now.  That this young woman was strong enough to fight for what she believed in is incredibly honorable. Especially, when done in the face of long-standing opposition. Maybe, just maybe, her death will not be in vain and future Pakistani women will not be killed for marrying the person they love. There is no better feeling in the world than loving and being loved.  Love is always worth fighting for. Until next time…

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/family-stones-pakistani-woman-death-honor-killing-outside-court-n115336

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

May 17

Safer and Sexy in San Ramon

Posted on Saturday, May 17, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoI recently held my final Human Sexuality class for the spring 2014 semester at San Ramon Valley College (SRC). Though I have been an instructor there for the past 7 semesters, this semester was definitely among the favorites! Students were more sex positive, more cognitively mature; group presentations and class participation were great. There were a few firsts as well as a few bumps but what human sexuality course is without its bumps? All things considered, this was an awesome semester!

Many of my readers know that I am a full-time Health Educator at UC Berkeley and that I have a small side business, SEXUCATION LLC. However, not as many people are aware that I am also a Human Sexuality instructor, part-time. No, I’m not Jamaican. Lol….I am happy to report that during my tenure at SRC I have observed students becoming more sex positive. For  example, this is the second semester in a row that when we discussed some of the more, often times, controversial topics like sexual orientation there has been no debate to speak of. I love it!

While I’d like to credit my experience and skill as the reason that my students were more sex positive this spring semester I’m sure it had more to do with many of the students seeming to be more cognitively mature. They seemed better  able to handle the material in a more maturely than previous years. There was little giggling at new and uncomfortable images. Well, this was true for most of the students anyway. I even had at least one mature high school student in my class.

ss sexy in SRCOn the final day of class I had the students do group presentations as I normally do. However, this particular group of students collectively did a great job! So great, in fact, that I am thinking of ways to share them with you all! One group did a commercial, while another group interviewed a porn star. Each group had thoroughly researched their topic. They were assigned to do something interactive and many of them did a quiz of some sort with candy prizes including penis and vulva lollipops. They made the mistake of letting me participate – I won! More importantly, I was impressed with the group presentations and my students overall.

I wouldn’t be honest if I said this semester was without its problems. Unfortunately, I had a student cheat on a quiz – like obviously cheated. This is not the first semester this has happened. Enough bad news…I had my first Teaching Assistant (TA), Colton. Colton was great! He had aced my class a few semesters ago and asked if he could be my TA. I’m glad I said yes! I’m looking forward to having Colton back next semester. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

May 10

Safer Sex Up-Cycling!

Posted on Saturday, May 10, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoWhat do you get when you cross a super sex positive Goddess with a group of UC Berkeley SEXperts and nearly 1500 expired insertive condoms? You get three wonderful and amazing end of the semester projects!

Before I share these awesome projects, I’d like to back up just a bit and give you some background…A few years ago the unit I work in scored an HIV grant that allowed us to purchase a rather large quantity of insertive (female) condoms. Our sex positive purchasing took much longer to distribute than we originally thought. Unfortunately, quite a few condoms expired – approximately 1500. I pulled the condoms from their regular location in the supply closet to be thrown out. However, I started to think about the many items I have made out of expired condoms. Such items include belts, purses, tote bags, earrings, necklaces, and more! Students tend to love my random expired condom gear. As such, I thought “what better way to get rid of so many expired insertive condoms than to have a fun group project making something…anything out of the expired insertive condoms?” Think of it as safer sex up-cycling, if you will.

Project Design 1

Project Design 1

Therefore instead of throwing the expired insertive condoms out, I challenged my UC Berkeley SEXpert students with an assignment to create something special out of them. For this assignment I split the students into 3 groups and gave each group 500 condoms. The instructions were simple: make something in 3D – I didn’t care what. However, I did jokingly say that if I could wear what they design that’d be better. As an incentive I arranged for one lucky group’s design to be on display at the upcoming UC Berkeley Doe Library sex ed exhibit, Bird’s Do It, Bee’s Do It: A century of (mis)education in the US, from September 2014 through March 2015.

Project 1. The first group designed a messenger bag and penis model! The messenger bag is usable – I tried it out last week to carry items back to the office from an outreach event. The bag fits a laptop up to maybe 15”. The penis model is too large to fully fit in the bag.

Project Design 2

Project Design 2

Project 2. The second group designed a classic cut red dress with insertive condoms sewn all over it and accessories! The dress has a matching belt made of red ribbon with the plastic inner ring from the insertive condoms at either end of the belt. As if that wasn’t enough this group also designed a necklace and earrings using the inner rings as well. The plastic rings for the necklace are held together with red and pink bows trimmed in gold. The earrings are actually so practical that I’ve worn them a few different places and no one has a clue that I’m wearing part of a safer sex supply!

Project Design 3

Project Design 3

Project 3. The third group design was also a dress with full accessories! Unlike the red dress, this dress is a more modern style in gray. This dress has a hi-lo ruffle made of insertive condoms. Like the other outfit, there is a matching belt and necklace made using the plastic rings from inside the insertive condom.

So, which design won???? A combination of all three! And it fits perfect! You can see the dress with accessories and messenger bag on display this Fall. Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

May 7

Stop Stressing with More Safer Sexing!

Posted on Wednesday, May 7, 2014 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess logoI write a monthly tip for the UC Berkeley monthly Buzz – for you sexy people who didn’t already know. A colleague suggested I expand my May tip into a blog. Great suggestion, Caitlin!

At this time in the semester many students may feel stressed preparing for and taking finals. Not to worry, sex may be able to help with that. More to come on that… Stress is how you respond mentally and physiologically to challenges and changes in your daily lives. Contrary to popular belief not all stress is bad for you. Positive stress happens often enough for there to be a term for it, eustress. Eustress is the type of stress that makes you work harder to achieve your goals. For many college students feelings of eustress and distress (stress) may be experienced simultaneously.

While it is possible to experience positive and negative stress at the same time, students tend to notice negative stress more as it impacts health and general wellness. Common symptoms may include headaches, acne, increased heart rate, nausea, diarrhea, decreased ability to fight illness, reduced sexual desire – who wants that!?! Good news: sex and orgasm offer several health benefits!  This is due to the hormones that are released as part of our response to sexual arousal, stimulation and orgasm.  As such, when engaged in safely, sex may be just what you need to relieve a bit of stress and maintain optimal health and brain function for finals season.  Here are 5 ways that sex and orgasm contribute to a healthier you for finals:

  1. Relieves stress – during sex you release a hormone, oxytocin, which is associated with relaxation and calm among other great benefits. Being in a relaxed state may help you feel less anxious while studying or taking a final exam which will likely lead to a better performance and final exam grade.
  2. Boosts immunity – In a recent study, researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that college students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of the a certain antibody compared to students who had sex less often. The benefits of having a good immune system during finals are self-explanatory to most people. Yet, for the few who it isn’t – boosting immunity helps your body fight off illnesses such as common colds which are rampant during finals.positice stress cycle
  3. Improves cardiovascular health and brain function– during sex and orgasm there is an increased flow of blood to all parts of the body including the heart and brain. The increasing flow of blood and therefore, oxygen allows the brain and heart to function more optimally.
  4. Helps you sleep better – thanks to release of endorphins and prolactin in addition to other hormones, your body experiences a feeling similar to a state of extreme relaxation and sedation. This is often why people fall asleep following sexual experiences – in addition to being worn out from the physical activity. In my role as a health and wellness coach – I can assure you that sleep is something most college students can certainly use more of!
  5. Feeling of general happiness – the combination of oxytocin and endorphins leaves you with a general feeling of happiness and bliss following sex and orgasm. You tend to perform better – academically as well as non-academically – when you are happy and feeling good about yourself.

Ask your partner to help you stay healthy this finals season with a dose – or two or three –  of safer sex! No partner? No problem. The health benefits mentioned above are achievable for those enjoying solo sex or sex in which your partner enthusiastically consented.  Enjoy! Until next time…

Keep it safe and sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

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