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Apr 27

The Never Ending Infection

Posted on Saturday, April 27, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoThis is the last Sexy Saturdays article for STD Awareness Month! Today, I’m writing about one of the most common viral infections among college age populations.  If you’re thinking HIV, think again. Herpes infects more than 775,000 people each year in the US. Did you know there are 2 types of herpes associated with sexual experiences? Herpes simplex virus (HSV) -1 is commonly referred to as oral herpes, while HSV-2 is often referred to as genital herpes. But make no mistake, you can get either of these types of herpes on or in your mouth, genitals, cervix, and/or anus.

What’s up with this super common infection? Like Chlamydia and gonorrhea, herpes is often asymptomatic (without visible symptoms) and goes unnoticed in many infected persons. When symptoms are present they look different. HSV-1 symptoms present as cold sores.  HSV-2 symptoms are usually in the form of lesions. While symptoms may go away on their own or with antiviral treatment, herpes reserves its right to resurface or recur. It is more likely to exercise this right to recur during times when your immune system is weakened. Recurrent symptoms may include fever, headache, and tingling sensation with both HSV-1SS 17 HSV 1 and HSV-2. Initial outbreaks tend to be worse than recurring outbreaks.

If you have a cold sore you have herpes. If you get a cold sore in the future you will have herpes for the rest of your life. When I say this in workshops no doubt someone says “that can’t be true. I’ve had cold sores all my life. How did I get it?” Herpes simplex virus 1 and 2 is transmitted through direct contact with infected mucous membranes, lesions, genital or oral secretions, or infected skin. Transmission through infected skin is during an asymptomatic period of shedding. If you’ve had cold sores for as long as you can remember it is likely that you contracted herpes as a baby, or child. Maybe you were so cute that someone with herpes felt the need to kiss you. Though this person may not have been having an active outbreak at that time, they were able to transmit HSV-1 when they kissed you.  Lucky you! I’m just playing. I know, it sucks – and not in a good way – that you have herpes and didn’t even get to experience any sexual pleasure to get it. Just for the record, don’t even consider asking to kiss my super cute daughter.  It’s nothing personal, well, yes it is.

ss17 herpesOne of the most intriguing aspects of herpes is that if a person with oral herpes, HSV-1, performs oral sex on someone they can give that person oral herpes on their genitals or anus. If you don’t like cold sores on your mouth, just imagine having them on your genitals. It also works the other way too. If someone performs oral sex on someone infected with genital herpes, they can get HSV-2 on/in their mouth.  

If you think you may have herpes, it is best to let your primary medical doctor examine you during an outbreak. However, some providers and clinics have the ability to diagnose herpes through blood tests when no visible symptoms are present. Some providers and clinics may also be able to DNA type test your herpes to see which type you have, if any.

How do you get rid of herpes? You don’t! However, there are antiviral medications that may suppress herpes resulting in a decreased amount of outbreaks. Daily use of such treatments may also reduce your risk of transmitting herpes to your partners. The good news is that outbreaks tend to decrease over time even without suppressive treatment.  Given that herpes is not curable, it would be better to prevent transmission in the first place.  Because herpes may not be covered with traditional condoms, I suggest using insertive condoms for penis to vagina or anus sex with an infected partner, or partner whose status you don’t know as they cover a larger area. Dental dams are a great way to prevent transmission during mouth to vulva or anus sex. Last but not least, traditional condoms can help prevent herpes transmission during mouth to penis sex.  Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe ‘n sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Feb 2

Sex not that good?

Posted on Saturday, February 2, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoHave you ever found yourself attracted to someone only to have sex with them and be disappointed? A friend of mine is in this very situation and asked for a little advice. Hmm, this is kinda of tricky. You can do one of two things, both would be best:

If you’ve taken a class with me or have been in any of my workshops you know that I believe “communication is lubrication.” If you were left less than satisfied after your first experience with your new partner let them know what they can be doing to make it better the next time. Assuming – of course – there will be a next time. If you care about your partner and want to see where things can go this could be a great opportunity to see how your partner responds when challenged.

Be open with your partner about what you enjoy during sex. How do they know if you haven’t told them? Ask them what they enjoy. I’m sure you were doing your thing, but what if your thing wasn’t their thing? Ask them if the two of you can try some of the things you talk about the next time you have sex.

My second piece of advice is to take control of the situation. When you start to get that unsatisfied feeling that’s when you know you need to take over. If you know what feels good to you, start doing it. Your partner will probably like this. If you’re female, you can stimulate your clit while your being penetrated vaginally or anally. If you’re male you can rub your scrotum during sex and put pressure on the smooth area just behind there. This will indirectly stimulate your prostate, which can be very pleasurable. Whatever your signature move is put it on your partner.  But you have to be careful with this advice though as it can backfire. You can put it down so good that your partner just simply can’t take it.

Until next Saturday,

Keep It Safe and Sexy,

Robin, the Sex Goddess

Jan 12

Sexy Acts Map

Posted on Saturday, January 12, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

     Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess Logo  Welcome back to Sexy Saturdays. Last week, when I suggested one of the ways to make safer sexy in 2013 is blabbing to your friends about the safer sex you just had, some of you were probably thinking I’m crazy. You may be right, but the suggestion was certainly sincere. A couple of months ago, one of my colleagues at UC Berkeley sent me an email about a safer sex social norms campaign that was sex positive and freaking awesome. I’ve been thinking about it ever since!

      Planned Parenthood of the Great Northwest launched Where did you wear it mapa campaign to increase safer sex use among college students by encouraging them to plot their sexy acts on a map. Their friends, peers, or anyone, can then search the map and see how much safer sex is happening around them. How clever is that? I had to check this site out. Luckily for me, I’ve recently had safer sex.   

      The WhereDidYouWearIt.com site is cute, a bit plain – but still cute. There is a condomish looking “check-in” link that takes you to a brief survey. The questions are simple and easy to answer. There’s a “trans” option under gender, which is nice to see. After completing the short survey you can view a summary of your sexy act on the map. If you check my neighborhood, I’m the only one there. For now, I hope. I’d LOVE to see that other people are having safer sex in my neck of the woods!

     My only suggestion would be to add an option under the “I use condoms…” reason tab that says something like “to prevent unintended pregnancy and STIs.” Both options are there but you have to choose one or the other. Overall, I really like this campaign and hope that other people start using it to blab to their friends and neighbors all about the safer sex they just had! If you want to increase your sexy in 2013 let others know about your safer sex at, http://www.wheredidyouwearit.com/.

Keep It Safe and Sexy,
Robin, the Sex Goddess

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