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May 18

Wetter is Better!

Posted on Saturday, May 18, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoContrary to popular belief lubricants (lube) are not just for female bodied people. Although lube is a great liquid supplement for natural vaginal lubrication, any sexually active person can enjoy the benefits of lube.  Here are three reasons to add lube to your repertoire of sexy tools:

1. Lube increases sensation when practicing safer sex with barrier methods such as condoms and dental dams. Anytime you or your partner wear a condom, dental dam, glove, etc. you experience less sensation because the latex – or whatever material your method is made of – creates a barrier between your body and theirs. This barrier adds an extra layer between the two of you thus reducing the sensations you would feel having raw, unprotected sex.

2. Lube increases the durability of your safer sex barrier method. This is pretty hot! Lube helps to reduce friction during sexual play. If you’re not quite sure what friction is, put your hands together and start rubbing. Gain speed as you rub.  The more and faster you rub you’ll notice heat being created. Many of you will also notice that your hands are getting a bit sticky from the sweat the heat is creating. What you are experiencing is very much like friction. When condoms experience friction they are likely to rip or tear. Lube helps to keep things feeling slippery during friction, reducing the risk of tearing.  

3. Lube can be added to any body part, or toy for more pleasurable sensation.  For example, lube can be added to your genitals or fingers to make masturbation feel better. You can also put lube on your hand to make hand-jobs more pleasurable.  I don’t know about you, but my arm gets tired rather quickly and if lube can help me, I’m all for it!

Before you go making everything slippery there’s a bit more information you should know. There are 3 main types of lube: water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based.  Some lubes may be better than others based on the site of penetration or safer sex materialss20 wetter better being used. For example, a thick water-based lube would be great for protected anal sex. Here’s a quick overview of the different types of lube.

Water-based lube is cheap and widely available in sexually oriented businesses, grocery stores, and local pharmacies such as Walgreen’s or CVS. It is safe to use with latex barriers and all sex toys. This lube tends to become sticky when it starts to dry, but can be rejuvenated by adding a few drops of water.

Silicone-based lube is often more expensive than water-based. Silicone has a feeling that is similar to oil in that it is thin and quite slippery. Silicone-based lube can be used with various materials such as latex, polyurethane, polyisoprene and more. However, you have to be careful when using silicone lube with silicone based sex toys as it may deteriorate your toy. As a general rule, I just wouldn’t use the two together.

Oil-based lube is great because it is extra slippery! However, oil-based lubes should not be used with latex barriers, as it can deteriorate the material.  

My last bit of information on this topic is that lube is available in various consistencies including liquid, gel, lotion, and more! However, regardless of the type of lube or preferred consistency, it is a good idea to check for the presence of glycerin or other sugars as they may irritate the vagina or anus. Some folks are more sensitive to this than others. If you’re a current Cal student, stop by the health Promotion office in Tang to pick up free water or silicone-based lube samples. If you’re not a Cal student, check out the sexy aisle on your next trip to the grocery store or pharmacy. Either way, wetter is better! Until next Saturday…

 Keep it safe ‘n sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

 

 

Apr 20

More Than You Bargained For: Chlamydia and Gonorrhea

Posted on Saturday, April 20, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoPicture this: you just met this gorgeous person who seems to be feeling you. You make your move, and it works. The two of you go somewhere private to smoke and hook up. You’re already high and forget to use protection.  A week or so later you start feeling a burning sensation when you urinate.

If you’re celebrating more than Sexy Saturdays today, make sure high is all you’re getting! Two common sexually transmitted infections (STIs), Chlamydia and gonorrhea, can sneak up on you. As recently as 2011 in California, 63% of Chlamydia and 48% of gonorrhea cases were among young folks between 15 and 24 years old.[1] Many of whom likely had these infections without any symptoms.

Though caused by different bacteria, these STIs have quite a bit in common like how they are transmitted, their symptoms, and more. Chlamydia and gonorrhea are transmitted in multiple ways including through unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex when a person’s mucous membranes come into contact with the infected vaginal fluids, semen, or pre-ejaculate of another person. Yes, that means you can get these infections in your throat! Sadly, they can also be transmitted from an infected woman to her newborn duringss16 gonorrhea childbirth.

Like a thief in the night, Chlamydia and gonorrhea are often silent and have no symptoms in men and women. Unfortunately, that tends to be truer for women than for men. You guessed it, when symptoms are present they’re alike too! When symptoms are present they may include frequent urination, abnormal discharge, pain in lower abdomen, painful urination or sex. If left untreated these STIs may lead to tissue scarring, possible infertility, and other serious health conditions.

Similarities between Chlamydia and gonorrhea don’t stop there.  The good similarities are that these infections have the same testing, are often curable with antibiotics, and are easy to prevent. Given the silent nature of these STIs it is super important to get tested and know your status. Most tests of Chlamydia and gonorrhea are done through urine sample or cultures, which may or may not be collected during a pelvic exam.

If you’re ever diagnosed with having Chlamydia or gonorrhea, you can often take antibiotics and be cured. Though recently there have been some strains of gonorrhea that are resistant to current antibiotic options. It is important to complete all antibiotic treatment even if symptoms are no longer present. Think of yourself as being on “time out” because sex is off-limits while being treated.

The only way to completely prevent Chlamydia and gonorrhea infections is by abstaining from vaginal, anal, and/or oral sex. That may be harder to do than you think. If you are sexually active like me you can decrease the risk of getting these STIs by using condoms properly during vaginal and anal sex, and mouth to penis sex. If you’re having mouth to vulva, or mouth to anus sex use dental dams. Feel free to add flavored lube to sweeten the oral experience.

Because you can be re-infected with both Chlamydia and gonorrhea you want to get tested for STIs regularly, like every 6 – 12months. Encourage your partners to do the same. Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe ‘n sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.



[1] CA Department of Public Health, STD Control Branch, 2011. http://www.cdph.ca.gov/data/statistics/Pages/STDDataTables.aspx

 

Feb 23

Prepping for Drunk Sex

Posted on Saturday, February 23, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoHave you seen the pages dedicated to drunken college hook-ups? I have and I find them disturbing on many levels, although I have found a few positives which I may share in a follow-up article. This is not an entirely new article, but rather a revision of one that I wrote as an op-ed piece in response to an article on drunken sex that pissed me off.

Instead of attacking the student(s) who had the balls or ovaries to create such a page, I’d like to extend an offer to work with you. You’ve gotten more followers in less than a week than I’ve got in a time I will not embarrass myself by disclosing. We can make this a mutually beneficial arrangement: you get the opportunity to help your followers safely engage in drunken sexual behaviors; I get exposure to your followers.

Before I uphold my end of the deal I am bound by personal and professional ethics to inform you that per California Penal Code 261PC, it is considered a form of rape to engage in sexual behavior with anyone incapable of giving consent due to being under the influence of any mind-altering substances or chemicals, including alcohol.

In no way am I encouraging anyone to engage in sex under the influence, but if you’re going to do it anyway, here are three tips on how to do it safely:

1: Practice using safer sex methods while under the influence. The best way to do this is to get a group of like-minded friends together and have a safer sex practice party. Sounds strange, I know.

2: Be prepared at all times. You should be carrying safer sex methods with you anytime there may be a chance — even the slightest — that you may get lucky and get some. Suggested safer sex methods to carry with you include traditional and/or insertive condoms, dental dams and gloves. If you don’t need the supplies, maybe a friend will.

3: Obtain or give consent prior to drinking any amount of alcohol or taking any substances. If you know that you’re going tPic of male and female being intimate after drinkingo a party and want to let off sexual steam, let a potential sex partner know in advance. This works best if you know in advance who you’d like to hook up with after you’re sufficiently inebriated.

The ball is in your court dear student creator(s). To uphold your end of the deal contact me at your earliest convenience. I’ll even treat you to lunch.

Until next Saturday: keep it safe and sexy,

Robin, the Sex Goddess

 Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Feb 2

Sex not that good?

Posted on Saturday, February 2, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoHave you ever found yourself attracted to someone only to have sex with them and be disappointed? A friend of mine is in this very situation and asked for a little advice. Hmm, this is kinda of tricky. You can do one of two things, both would be best:

If you’ve taken a class with me or have been in any of my workshops you know that I believe “communication is lubrication.” If you were left less than satisfied after your first experience with your new partner let them know what they can be doing to make it better the next time. Assuming – of course – there will be a next time. If you care about your partner and want to see where things can go this could be a great opportunity to see how your partner responds when challenged.

Be open with your partner about what you enjoy during sex. How do they know if you haven’t told them? Ask them what they enjoy. I’m sure you were doing your thing, but what if your thing wasn’t their thing? Ask them if the two of you can try some of the things you talk about the next time you have sex.

My second piece of advice is to take control of the situation. When you start to get that unsatisfied feeling that’s when you know you need to take over. If you know what feels good to you, start doing it. Your partner will probably like this. If you’re female, you can stimulate your clit while your being penetrated vaginally or anally. If you’re male you can rub your scrotum during sex and put pressure on the smooth area just behind there. This will indirectly stimulate your prostate, which can be very pleasurable. Whatever your signature move is put it on your partner.  But you have to be careful with this advice though as it can backfire. You can put it down so good that your partner just simply can’t take it.

Until next Saturday,

Keep It Safe and Sexy,

Robin, the Sex Goddess

Jan 26

Smart is the New Sexy

Posted on Saturday, January 26, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoA few weeks ago my Dad posted this image on my facebook page saying “teach this in your sex ed classes!” Sorry, syllabi for all classes have been created so Dad, this blogs for you…How smart do you have to be to be considered sexy? You don’t have to be Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory smart, but having some degree of intelligence is definitely sexy. In my first Sexy Saturdays article I told you there was little sexier than intelligence. I still stand by that statement, but I’d like to add that being sex savvy counts as a form of intelligence.

Smart is new sexy imageBeing sex savvy is not limited to knowing a bunch of positions. Hell, anyone can watch videos of teens dancing on YouTube and learn all the positions in the Kama Sutra and then some. Don’t believe me? Try it – I dare you. Anyway, young folks doing dance moves that would put strippers to shame is a topic for another blog…

Sex savvy is much more than just knowing positions, it involves having accurate sexual heath knowledge and being aware of how you are impacted by sexual experiences.  For example, it is not enough to simply know that you should use condoms during your sexual debut, if applicable. A sex savvy person would do some research and go into their debut knowing there may be pain and blood involved for the partner being penetrated vaginally or anally. Armed with this knowledge, the sex savvy individual would do further research to learn how to minimize this.  An even savvier person would talk to friends and professionals about the emotional impact of having sex, get on some sort of birth control method if there is a risk of unintended pregnancy, and talk to their partner about fears, concerns, and expectations of their debut together.

Beyond being sexually savvy about initial sexual debuts, folks should familiarize themselves with information about prevention of sexually transmissible infections (STIs)/HIV, and unintended pregnancy. While this may look different from person to person, for most it includes having regular check-ups on your genitals and reproductive parts, as well as STI testing.

Now for the good news: I can help you be the sexy sex savvy person you are meant to be by educating and informing you about various sexual health topics in multiple ways. If you are a student at UC Berkeley, you can meet with me for your general sexual health education. If you live in or close to San Ramon, you can take a semester long class with me. I’m a great instructor – check me out on ratemyprofessor.com. If you’re anywhere else in the California Bay Area, I’m happy to come do one or more workshops for you. Need more on-going personal assistance on your road to sex savviness? I got you! And, not just because my Dad asked me to. Until next Saturday.

Keep It Safe and Sexy,

Robin, the Sex Goddess

 Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Jan 12

Sexy Acts Map

Posted on Saturday, January 12, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

     Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess Logo  Welcome back to Sexy Saturdays. Last week, when I suggested one of the ways to make safer sexy in 2013 is blabbing to your friends about the safer sex you just had, some of you were probably thinking I’m crazy. You may be right, but the suggestion was certainly sincere. A couple of months ago, one of my colleagues at UC Berkeley sent me an email about a safer sex social norms campaign that was sex positive and freaking awesome. I’ve been thinking about it ever since!

      Planned Parenthood of the Great Northwest launched Where did you wear it mapa campaign to increase safer sex use among college students by encouraging them to plot their sexy acts on a map. Their friends, peers, or anyone, can then search the map and see how much safer sex is happening around them. How clever is that? I had to check this site out. Luckily for me, I’ve recently had safer sex.   

      The WhereDidYouWearIt.com site is cute, a bit plain – but still cute. There is a condomish looking “check-in” link that takes you to a brief survey. The questions are simple and easy to answer. There’s a “trans” option under gender, which is nice to see. After completing the short survey you can view a summary of your sexy act on the map. If you check my neighborhood, I’m the only one there. For now, I hope. I’d LOVE to see that other people are having safer sex in my neck of the woods!

     My only suggestion would be to add an option under the “I use condoms…” reason tab that says something like “to prevent unintended pregnancy and STIs.” Both options are there but you have to choose one or the other. Overall, I really like this campaign and hope that other people start using it to blab to their friends and neighbors all about the safer sex they just had! If you want to increase your sexy in 2013 let others know about your safer sex at, http://www.wheredidyouwearit.com/.

Keep It Safe and Sexy,
Robin, the Sex Goddess

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