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May 18

Wetter is Better!

Posted on Saturday, May 18, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoContrary to popular belief lubricants (lube) are not just for female bodied people. Although lube is a great liquid supplement for natural vaginal lubrication, any sexually active person can enjoy the benefits of lube.  Here are three reasons to add lube to your repertoire of sexy tools:

1. Lube increases sensation when practicing safer sex with barrier methods such as condoms and dental dams. Anytime you or your partner wear a condom, dental dam, glove, etc. you experience less sensation because the latex – or whatever material your method is made of – creates a barrier between your body and theirs. This barrier adds an extra layer between the two of you thus reducing the sensations you would feel having raw, unprotected sex.

2. Lube increases the durability of your safer sex barrier method. This is pretty hot! Lube helps to reduce friction during sexual play. If you’re not quite sure what friction is, put your hands together and start rubbing. Gain speed as you rub.  The more and faster you rub you’ll notice heat being created. Many of you will also notice that your hands are getting a bit sticky from the sweat the heat is creating. What you are experiencing is very much like friction. When condoms experience friction they are likely to rip or tear. Lube helps to keep things feeling slippery during friction, reducing the risk of tearing.  

3. Lube can be added to any body part, or toy for more pleasurable sensation.  For example, lube can be added to your genitals or fingers to make masturbation feel better. You can also put lube on your hand to make hand-jobs more pleasurable.  I don’t know about you, but my arm gets tired rather quickly and if lube can help me, I’m all for it!

Before you go making everything slippery there’s a bit more information you should know. There are 3 main types of lube: water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based.  Some lubes may be better than others based on the site of penetration or safer sex materialss20 wetter better being used. For example, a thick water-based lube would be great for protected anal sex. Here’s a quick overview of the different types of lube.

Water-based lube is cheap and widely available in sexually oriented businesses, grocery stores, and local pharmacies such as Walgreen’s or CVS. It is safe to use with latex barriers and all sex toys. This lube tends to become sticky when it starts to dry, but can be rejuvenated by adding a few drops of water.

Silicone-based lube is often more expensive than water-based. Silicone has a feeling that is similar to oil in that it is thin and quite slippery. Silicone-based lube can be used with various materials such as latex, polyurethane, polyisoprene and more. However, you have to be careful when using silicone lube with silicone based sex toys as it may deteriorate your toy. As a general rule, I just wouldn’t use the two together.

Oil-based lube is great because it is extra slippery! However, oil-based lubes should not be used with latex barriers, as it can deteriorate the material.  

My last bit of information on this topic is that lube is available in various consistencies including liquid, gel, lotion, and more! However, regardless of the type of lube or preferred consistency, it is a good idea to check for the presence of glycerin or other sugars as they may irritate the vagina or anus. Some folks are more sensitive to this than others. If you’re a current Cal student, stop by the health Promotion office in Tang to pick up free water or silicone-based lube samples. If you’re not a Cal student, check out the sexy aisle on your next trip to the grocery store or pharmacy. Either way, wetter is better! Until next Saturday…

 Keep it safe ‘n sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

 

 

Feb 9

Getting Sexy with Older People

Posted on Saturday, February 9, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

I was watching a show on Oprah Winfrey’s network (OWN), I believe it may have been called “Our America with Lisa Ling.”  The topic of the show was older people with a segment on speed dating and sex after 65. At first, I must admit I thought it was adorable and found myself hoping to be dating and still having sex when I’m 65. However, upon further thought I realized 65 is not that old. My mother is in her 60’s and I’m pretty sure she’s still getting it on a regular basis.  

Like many people, I don’t enjoy thinking about my mother’s sex life.  But if I’m honest, I may start looking at older people a little Younger woman dating older mandifferently. While I’m not going to develop an elderly fetish and be a gerontophile, I may entertain the thought of being an eagle scout (BTW, there are quite a few terms to describe a younger woman who dates older men – google it and see). How big of an age gap is required to be an eagle scout? Does Beyonce qualify?

If you’ve ever considered sex with an older man it may be worth trying. Granted there may be a need for a Viagra or Cialis prescription for penetrational sex with some older men. Unfortunately, as men age their ability to become fully erect gets harder (pun so intended). The good side is that they also tend to focus more on pleasing their partner. Older men have likely also mastered the fine art of ejaculatory control for longer lasting sex.

I don’t want to leave sex with older women out. If you’re a cub on the prowl for a cougar or lioness, keep a bottle of good lube nearby. Spit doesn’t count, though a little oral sex may be appreciated.  The best thing about sex with an older woman may be that she likely knows what feels good to her and in all probability is not afraid to ask for it. The latter is a lesson that women of all ages can benefit from.  

Although sex with an older woman has the added benefit of not worrying about unintended pregnancy, there is still a risk of contracting a sexually transmissible disease. This is true of sex with older men as well. Condoms and dental dams are an easy fix. For more information on sex after 65, check out Senior Site’s, Sex After Sixty page. If given the opportunity to have sex with an older person you may just find that elder sex can be super hot! Until next Saturday.

Keep it Safe and Sexy,

Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Feb 2

Sex not that good?

Posted on Saturday, February 2, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoHave you ever found yourself attracted to someone only to have sex with them and be disappointed? A friend of mine is in this very situation and asked for a little advice. Hmm, this is kinda of tricky. You can do one of two things, both would be best:

If you’ve taken a class with me or have been in any of my workshops you know that I believe “communication is lubrication.” If you were left less than satisfied after your first experience with your new partner let them know what they can be doing to make it better the next time. Assuming – of course – there will be a next time. If you care about your partner and want to see where things can go this could be a great opportunity to see how your partner responds when challenged.

Be open with your partner about what you enjoy during sex. How do they know if you haven’t told them? Ask them what they enjoy. I’m sure you were doing your thing, but what if your thing wasn’t their thing? Ask them if the two of you can try some of the things you talk about the next time you have sex.

My second piece of advice is to take control of the situation. When you start to get that unsatisfied feeling that’s when you know you need to take over. If you know what feels good to you, start doing it. Your partner will probably like this. If you’re female, you can stimulate your clit while your being penetrated vaginally or anally. If you’re male you can rub your scrotum during sex and put pressure on the smooth area just behind there. This will indirectly stimulate your prostate, which can be very pleasurable. Whatever your signature move is put it on your partner.  But you have to be careful with this advice though as it can backfire. You can put it down so good that your partner just simply can’t take it.

Until next Saturday,

Keep It Safe and Sexy,

Robin, the Sex Goddess

Jan 26

Smart is the New Sexy

Posted on Saturday, January 26, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoA few weeks ago my Dad posted this image on my facebook page saying “teach this in your sex ed classes!” Sorry, syllabi for all classes have been created so Dad, this blogs for you…How smart do you have to be to be considered sexy? You don’t have to be Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory smart, but having some degree of intelligence is definitely sexy. In my first Sexy Saturdays article I told you there was little sexier than intelligence. I still stand by that statement, but I’d like to add that being sex savvy counts as a form of intelligence.

Smart is new sexy imageBeing sex savvy is not limited to knowing a bunch of positions. Hell, anyone can watch videos of teens dancing on YouTube and learn all the positions in the Kama Sutra and then some. Don’t believe me? Try it – I dare you. Anyway, young folks doing dance moves that would put strippers to shame is a topic for another blog…

Sex savvy is much more than just knowing positions, it involves having accurate sexual heath knowledge and being aware of how you are impacted by sexual experiences.  For example, it is not enough to simply know that you should use condoms during your sexual debut, if applicable. A sex savvy person would do some research and go into their debut knowing there may be pain and blood involved for the partner being penetrated vaginally or anally. Armed with this knowledge, the sex savvy individual would do further research to learn how to minimize this.  An even savvier person would talk to friends and professionals about the emotional impact of having sex, get on some sort of birth control method if there is a risk of unintended pregnancy, and talk to their partner about fears, concerns, and expectations of their debut together.

Beyond being sexually savvy about initial sexual debuts, folks should familiarize themselves with information about prevention of sexually transmissible infections (STIs)/HIV, and unintended pregnancy. While this may look different from person to person, for most it includes having regular check-ups on your genitals and reproductive parts, as well as STI testing.

Now for the good news: I can help you be the sexy sex savvy person you are meant to be by educating and informing you about various sexual health topics in multiple ways. If you are a student at UC Berkeley, you can meet with me for your general sexual health education. If you live in or close to San Ramon, you can take a semester long class with me. I’m a great instructor – check me out on ratemyprofessor.com. If you’re anywhere else in the California Bay Area, I’m happy to come do one or more workshops for you. Need more on-going personal assistance on your road to sex savviness? I got you! And, not just because my Dad asked me to. Until next Saturday.

Keep It Safe and Sexy,

Robin, the Sex Goddess

 Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Jan 19

Oooooh, Sexy Sounds

Posted on Saturday, January 19, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess Logo“Mmmm. Yes, baby, right there…Oooooh…Yeah, give it to me like that. Just like that.” Do you say similar things during sex? Do you moan and groan?  In my profession, I hear some fascinating ideas of what people find sexy. One thing I hear quite often is that people enjoy, even prefer, sex partners who actively participate.  What a concept!?!  If you can’t tell, I am being sarcastic. While being an active participant can mean moving your body like a cyclone or getting into positions that would make a contortionist jealous, it can also be as simple as making sexy sounds.   

If you feel some sort of way about making sounds, you’re not alone. Prior to my sexual debut I had this idea that it would be so pleasing that I couldn’t being loud, screaming hallelujah and thanking a Lord I don’t believe in. The truth is it took me a while to get comfortable being vocal with my partners.  If you are of a similar mindset and would like to be more vocal during sex, read on.

If you’ve never tried being vocal during sex start by giving yourself permissionsexy sounds to make “noise.”  Although you have permission, you may not be ready to take your vocal show on the road just yet. Get used to the sounds you make while masturbating.  As you continue to pleasure yourself allow your heavy breathing to naturally progress. You may find that you’re more of a moaner than a groaner. Maybe you’re a talker or a screamer. Knowing your sexy sounds will help you feel more comfortable when you make them during partnered sex.

Having a partner who vocalizes their pleasure along with you may be helpful and encourage you to be more expressive. Honestly, I could care less exactly what sounds my partner makes during sex– as long as they are making them. On the flip side, being silent during sex may make your partner feel as if they are not putting it down right. Making sounds during sex can enhance the overall experience for you and your partner(s).  

Increase your sexy by expressing your pleasure vocally through heavy breathing, moaning, groaning, and/or talking. The more comfortable you get with making and hearing your sexy sounds, the more likely you will be to make them during partnered or solo sex.  Using the suggestions offered you’ll be talking dirty in no time.

Keep It Safe and Sexy,

Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

Jan 12

Sexy Acts Map

Posted on Saturday, January 12, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

     Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess Logo  Welcome back to Sexy Saturdays. Last week, when I suggested one of the ways to make safer sexy in 2013 is blabbing to your friends about the safer sex you just had, some of you were probably thinking I’m crazy. You may be right, but the suggestion was certainly sincere. A couple of months ago, one of my colleagues at UC Berkeley sent me an email about a safer sex social norms campaign that was sex positive and freaking awesome. I’ve been thinking about it ever since!

      Planned Parenthood of the Great Northwest launched Where did you wear it mapa campaign to increase safer sex use among college students by encouraging them to plot their sexy acts on a map. Their friends, peers, or anyone, can then search the map and see how much safer sex is happening around them. How clever is that? I had to check this site out. Luckily for me, I’ve recently had safer sex.   

      The WhereDidYouWearIt.com site is cute, a bit plain – but still cute. There is a condomish looking “check-in” link that takes you to a brief survey. The questions are simple and easy to answer. There’s a “trans” option under gender, which is nice to see. After completing the short survey you can view a summary of your sexy act on the map. If you check my neighborhood, I’m the only one there. For now, I hope. I’d LOVE to see that other people are having safer sex in my neck of the woods!

     My only suggestion would be to add an option under the “I use condoms…” reason tab that says something like “to prevent unintended pregnancy and STIs.” Both options are there but you have to choose one or the other. Overall, I really like this campaign and hope that other people start using it to blab to their friends and neighbors all about the safer sex they just had! If you want to increase your sexy in 2013 let others know about your safer sex at, http://www.wheredidyouwearit.com/.

Keep It Safe and Sexy,
Robin, the Sex Goddess

Jan 5

Sexy 2013 Style!

Posted on Saturday, January 5, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoStart the year off sexy! Sure, but what does that mean? While sexiness is subjective, it is commonly thought of as something or someone that gets your sexual juices flowing. What you find sexy, your partner or friends may not find so sexy. Although most people have specific ideas about what counts as sexy, such as particular body types, many people find confidence, intelligence, and intrigue sexy. Here’s how you can be a sexier you in 2013 using confidence, intelligence, and intrigue.

Confidence – Sexiness is a state of mind that begins with having confidence. Being confident in general will help others sconfidence imageee you as a self-secure and sexy person. Confidence is often exuded in the way a person carries themselves, the way they talk, or in many other ways. I’ve been told that I have a super sexy “own the world” walk. (Well, until I had a baby anyway. Now my walk is more of a sultry waddle, but still sexy). People tend to be more confident with subjects they know well. No one knows more about you…have confidence in yourself and be the best you. Others will see your confidence as sexy so long as you don’t confuse it with cockiness.

Intelligence – There is little that I find sexier than intelligence and there are tons of people who agree. This does not mean that you have to be a rocket scientist or anything like that. Intelligence is not limited to academic smarts, but definitely includes it. In this sense, intelligence means being able to understand and apply basic concepts to everyday life while putting your personal swag on it. Having the ability to make love to someone’s mind is freaking hot! I’m just saying.

Intrigue – Leave them wanting more. There’s something sexy about not fully knowing what to expect. This can apply to clothes, personality, and so much more. A woman wearing a tight mini skirt and low-cut, cleavage baring top is showing nearly all she may have to offer. Whereas a woman in a nicely fitting dress with less skin showing is likely to draw more intrigue. People enjoy fantasy and mystery. Give it to them by making them wonder what it will take to get what you’ve got. Remember there is a difference between “slutty” and “sexy.”

My last words of wisdom on this topic is just because someone may find you sexy after doing what I’ve suggested in this article does not necessarily mean they want to have sex with you. It simply means that they find you sexually appealing. There’s nothing wrong with that! In 2013, get your sexy on for free by being confident, intelligent and more intriguing. If you’re sexy and you know it, there is no need to have others co-sign your sexiness.

XOXO — Sex Goddess

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