RSS Feed
Jun 1

The Plan: Preventing Unintended Pregnancy

Posted on Saturday, June 1, 2013 in Sexy Saturdays, UC Berkeley, Women's health

Ms. Robin, Sex Goddess LogoWelcome to the first Sexy Saturday in June! Earlier this week, on Thursday, I posted It Could Happen to YOU! by guest blogger Tina – a recent student in my human sexuality class at San Ramon Valley College.  In It Could Happen to YOU!, Tina describes a situation that happens all too often – young woman meets guy, likes guy, believes guy likes her, has unprotected sex with guy, gets pregnant, guy denies her and questions if baby is really his, young woman emotionally devastated.  Many young people have a perception that unintended pregnancy only happens to other people and could NEVER happen to them – trust and believe it can happen to anyone having penis-vagina sex without condoms and/or birth control.  You’re in luck because situations like this can be avoided and I’m going to tell you how.

To avoid situations like the one described by my student here are a few suggestions:

  • Have sex on your own terms and when you’re ready.  Having sex on someone else’s terms may make it more difficult for you to express your desire to use safer sex methods like traditional (male) or insertive (female) condoms. Participating in sexual experiences on your terms is more likely to have more pleasurable and positive emotional outcomes. Remember, you are the best person to determine when you are ready to have sex.
  • Discuss the goals of the sex. If you decide to have sex it is important to be clear with your partner about what each of youSS 22 couple pic are hoping to get out of the experience. Possible goals include the 3 Ps: pleasure, procreation, and payment in the form of money or gifts.  
  • Make a pregnancy prevention plan BEFORE having sex if you and your partner decide the goal of your experience is not for procreation or having children. Your pregnancy prevention plan may be to use traditional or insertive condoms with each sexual experience. Maybe your plan is to use some form of highly effective hormonal contraception such as the pill, patch, vaginal insert, shot, implanted rod, or device placed in your uterus. While both are good plans, a better plan is to use both a hormonal contraceptive and barrier method like a condom.
  • Say “no” to unprotected penis-vagina sex. If you or your partner have not had time to plan and prepare for preventing pregnancy it’s best to not have sex. It can be very uncomfortable to be in a situation where you’re hot, horny, and have an attractive and willing partner as in Tina’s article. However, it is way more uncomfortable to find yourself pregnant and alone with a life changing decision to make. By saying “no” to unprotected sex doesn’t mean that you don’t want to have sex or that you are not attracted to your partner, but that you respect yourself and your partner enough to not have either of you end up as a statistic. If you’re really feeling that person and have no protection suggest a sexy, less risky alternative: oral sex, fingering or digital sex, romantic dinner, sharing fantasies, or having a PG-13 make-out session are great alternatives.

If your pregnancy prevention plan fails you or you failed to have a plan and don’t want to find yourself in a situation like that in It Could Happen to YOU! take Plan B One Step – an Emergency Contraceptive (EC) or morning after pill that prevents pregnancy. It is most effective (up to ~87%) when taken  within the first 72 hours but may be used up to 5 days or 120 hours after having unprotected sex or sex in which your barrier method broke or somehow became dislodged.  Plan B is available to anyone age 17 and over withoutSS 22 The Plan a prescription at local pharmacies and family planning clinics; anyone under 17 can visit their local family planning clinic like Planned Parenthood or your regular doctor. If you’re a Cal student Plan B is available at the Tang Center pharmacy. In a later blog article I’ll discuss what to do if you’re in this situation and it’s too late to take Plan B. Until next Saturday…

Keep it safe ‘n sexy,

Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess

Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.

 

May 30

It Could Happen to YOU!

Posted on Thursday, May 30, 2013 in Guest blogger

Ladies if you are going to be sexually active you cannot rely on the guys to use condoms, you need to protect yourself and be proactive about your health and body. Use birth control, use condoms when having sex. Don’t chance your future because you think it won’t happen to you.

Men will come into your life; they will charm and romance you till that romantic night happens that you have been waiting for. He doesn’t have a condom, but you want to please him and frankly you want to have sex too. He tells you, “we don’t have too” but you want to please him and honestly you want it also. The moment when it happens you are so happy and you feel completely safe in his arms. The kisses are more passionate and the movement between your body and his feels likes magic. As your breathing gets heavy, and you’re close to climax you look into his eyes and he’s looking right back at you. Giving you the sweetest kiss he leans into your ear and whispers “I really like you”.  That’s when you think he will never hurt me, he cares for me.  Lying in his arms after, you look at him and he smiles and gives you a kiss. No words need to be said because you both know how each other feels.

Being a busy college student you realize you haven’t seen him for about two weeks. But you’re not too worried because he has two jobs and doesn’t have a lot of free time. Another week goes by and you don’t even realize that three weeks have come and passed, and you missed your period. You aren’t too concerned because you’re sometimes late. A couple of more days go by and toTina blog image be on the safe side you make an appointment with the gynecologist the next day. Tomorrow comes and your nerves are going crazy, you are so incredibly nervous. Your name gets called and you lie down on the table with your feet in the stirrups and the exam begins. The doctor starts the sonogram and all of a sudden she says congratulations you are having a baby. You are so shocked and scared that you are numb, you feel no emotions. Lying there realizing that you are pregnant; a baby is inside of you growing. The only thing you are sure of is that the father is the guy you are head over heels for.

With this news you want to tell him right away and see how he feels about everything. Calling him you realize you have no clue what to say, but that’s okay because you know he cares about you. After you tell him, he is silent, and then all hell breaks loose. He asks if it is even his because you are a big slut and you could have cheated on him. Crying you tell him no it’s yours, I would never do that to you. Then it’s “I never liked you, I just used you for sex” and “I wish I never meet you.” Sobbing you ask him why is he doing this and he doesn’t respond. A minute or so of silence and he says “we were never together and we aren’t now either” and he hangs up. Falling to the ground you can’t believe what just happened, you are heartbroken and pregnant; all because you didn’t protect yourself.

Guest blogger: Tina Masoudi

San Ramon valley College Human Sexuality Class student spring 2013

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers: